How will you work mermaids into tomorrow's post? (Don't make us declare a merquester.)

Chair covers are completely heinous. There is no way for them to look good. As a wedding caterer, I don't think I ever saw a situation improved by chair covers. They make the room look crowded and cheap, like a curb-side sofa with an ill-fitting cover.

And since we're complaining about wedding trends: CUPCAKES. Do not do cupcakes unless you are the most laid-back couple in the history of weddings. In fact, don't do cupcakes unless your wedding was just held on the fly in the courthouse and someone picked them up on the way there. You will have no cake left by the time the cake cutting comes around because people (adults, not just children) are somehow psychically compelled to attack an arrangement of cupcakes the very second they arrive in a room.

"We can't rent those. They make it look like a klan rally for chairs."

Your fiance is way funnier than you, it's clear that she's marrying down.

good luck getting your grandma (or anyone older than 70) to reply to an evite

GUYS I DON'T THINK I GOT MY EVITE TO JONESER'S DIVORCE.

Whoops, thought I was on Pinterest for a minute there.

there are literally hundreds of stupid expenses, but save the dates are important because, yes, your 70 year old aunt isnt going to even open the evite, and 8 weeks (the lead time on most invites) isn't enough time to make travel plans for a lot of people!

im a wedding planner and my favorite thing is DECONSTRUCTING THE PRINCESS PARTY! lets have a cool thing that represents YOU instead of some weird patriarchal song and dance, you know?

there are a milli ways to save money -- buy a used dress! dont wear a tux! do beer and wine (or no booze at all!) instead of an open bar/champagne! have a barbecue instead of a 6 course plated dinner! have your loved ones make various deserts and do a desert bar instead of a ridic cake! -- but the things that make sure your loved ones can get to the wedding, like save the dates, are important.

@alithea: milli ways are fine. Just not Milli Vanilli ways.

@Todd: You're obviously old. Way too old. Stop it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZFkXi-E9dQ

Huh, Graham, that must be the hippity-hoppity music I keep hearing about.

MILLI VANILLI....IS THAT A MACKLEMORE SONG?

@Melogna you are my favorite. I hate cupcakes a lot. I've written about it at least once.