Comments

1
He was such a trooper after Vincent Gallo gave him cancer. RIP.

Obligatory drunk Siskel vs Ebert:
http://youtu.be/bLVObNbyaQQ
2
I will miss his points of view about film dearly.
And his humor too.
3
@ c&b:

Huh. Never knew that about Gallo. So, writer, actor, director, cinematographer, musician, model, AND cancer hex-putter. Wow. As if i wasn't impressed already.

Also, i'm happy to see that he continues to offer his sperm for sale after all this time:

http://www.vgmerchandise.com/store/pages.p…
4
I believe Gallo put his hex on Ebert after Ebert gave a bad review of Gallos 'Brown Bunny' (after Cannes I think) - and before Gallo had a chance to edit the film.
Ebert liked the editing version though, and I think both were good sports about it.
Buffalo '66 Rocks. The mans website is a trip too.
5
You don't know if there's an afterlife? Try opening up a Bible sometime buddy. It's practically blasphemous to suggest that kind of stuff is up for debate. If I was your editor I would change the last line from

"I don't know if there's an afterlife, but if there is, I'm fairly certain he and Gene just picked up from wherever it was their last fight left off. I really wish I could hear it."

to

"He and Gene have picked up from wherever it was their last fight left off and have continued it in the afterlife. I don't know if they will both be in heaven, or both be in hell, but so long as both of them are spending eternity in the same section of the afterlife, they will be fighting. I really wish I could hear it."
6
If there's a God I pray in his name that you're actually Gabe Newell.
7
Wow, Gabe. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, "buddy".

(please be a troll and not in earnest...please be a troll and not in earnest...please be a troll and not in earnest...please be a troll and not in earnest...)

Despite your hilarious premise, you raise an interesting question. I also don't know whether Siskel & Ebert are in heaven or hell, together or separate, but I'm sure wherever they were relocated was decided based on, among other sensible, not-at-all-crazy criteria, whether or not they liked the gays, worked on Sundays, or used the Lord's name in vain.

However, Ebert gave 'The Passion of the Christ' four out of four stars -- surely that's more than enough to offset any blasphemy he dabbled in during his time, no? I guess Siskel missed out on the golden opportunity to do the same by imprudently dying years before it came out. What a sucker.

Anyway, even if Siskel is in hell and Ebert is in Paradise, I would like to think that Satan and Our Father would still allow them to communicate every once in a while, letting them get their afterlife bicker on for special occasions. It would like a practice round, pre-Armageddon kind of thing, God with his guy and Satan with his, perhaps reviewing 'Springbreakers' and fighting over who has to deal with Harmony Korine for eternity when his time comes...
8
And if you *are* just trollin', Gabe: boy, did you pick the right photo to illustrate what somebody who would say that would look like. A+.
9
Who would of thought that Ebert passing, would turn into a Portland Merc bible study?
10
RIP Mr Ebert, you provide valuable reviews (paying attention Mercury ?) and entertainment

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