Ooh, he sounds like a real catch! Where can I get a boyfriend like that?

This girl must not have many friends because I can't imagine a single person listening to that story in real life and not going "NYAGGHHHHHHHHHHHH".

I feel bad for her because she'll surely look back at this relationship in a few years and be like, WTF?! But right now, she cannot be told enough times to run, run far away.