"I don't like satyrs"

Nobody asked, but, OK, you don't like satyrs. You don't like their tumescent goat-penises. You want to be sure we know that.

It's OK, Alex. It's OK to be a married, straight guy, and still have a boner for satyrs. It's the 21st goddamn century, we're not gonna judge you.

So chill.

I'm part centaur, a very small percent, but you wouldn't know unless you saw my penis. Nawmsayin'?!?!!!1!