This is complete SPECIESISM against awesome dogs like corgis and basset hounds. I demand inclusion for all low-riders!

This 30 meter Dachshund Sprint is open to all dogs 10 inches or shorter that are at least 16 inches long.?

Ugh. Wait. I'm just tired & too hot, and now I've passed the window to delete that. THANKS, OBAMA.

I must have a t-shirt.

Dachshunds are the most violent dog breed. More than pit bulls or rottweilers, the dachshund aggressively attacks strangers at an alarming rate (one in five dachshunds is shown to either attempt or successfully bite a stranger in a 2008 study). This should not be a surprise. They are bred to walk into a badger hole, with no room to move or dodge, directly up to a snarling badger and bite them to death. Furthermore they are taught to find this FUN. They are not adorable, they are vicious killers, and Steve Humps is right to be scared.

What time does this race start?