Comments

1
No smiling chicks at services can be hot and look interesting while giving space at a cafe or something.
2
The anonymous poster should do us all a favor and name the restaurant. Occasionally, I too spend too much for breakfast and would hate to spend my money/morning @ the wrong place.

P.S. I'd love a column dedicated to which restaurants NOT to go to.
3
That's nothing. I pay $700 for breakfast, with $58/cup house coffee, and the service always SUCKS. My ancestral lineage has dwelled in the place now called Portland since the early Pleistocene, and all the hipsters who piss me off are trustafarians from who came here all the way from another dimension, just for the scene and the gluten-free food. I will kill them all. Why won't anyone smile at meeee?
4
Why should anyone serving you say "thanks"? Isn't that what you're supposed to say to them? And help your own Baby Jesus.
5
He lost me at $40 for breakfast and then lost me even further at the part where he's bitching about having a JOB to someone who is... working? Being a waiter is still a real job, isn't it?
6
That 17-year-old at Mickey D's is *stoned*...that's why he smiles. The big-lobed freak at Chez Fancypants is hung over. And you have far more money than sense. Live with it.
7
40 bucks for breakfast? Dude, you should be getting a blow job, forget the smile.
8
People, we just need to be excellent to each other.
9
I worked as a waiter and am disgusted at the passive aggressive service in Portland. You don't have to be defined by your job to be good at it.
10
That's quite the rant over the simple absence of a smile/thank you. Methinks it was either very busy, or you frequent this establishment for continuous validation that you are high-and-mighty and tip in a way that demonstrates as much. Those trust-afarian peons from BumFuckNowhere should just consider themselves blessed (by your Baby Jesus) to serve you your $40 b-fast with $6 coffee.
11
If you act like you don't appreciate customers, you don't deserve to have a job
12
Just stop going and tell anyone who will listen about the restaurant. With all of the restaurants in PDX (especially breakfast ones) they'll be out of business by May, if they keep it up. Waaay too many other places to eat in PDX to survive bad waitstaff for very long.
13
IA, maybe if you WEREN'T such a judgement fuckhead, you'd perhaps get alittle more hospitality.

And you're eating at that shithole McDonalds on W. Burnside one day, then having yourself a $40 meal at a way more spendier place the next?
14
Can't find a genuine smile? Here's a simple rule: "Genuine" Portland now starts east of about 65th.

Ironically, all these shitty servers moved here because "people in Portland as so cool and nice!"

Also, people put up with way too much shit for breakfast in this city. Wait on the sidewalk for forty-five minutes to get hashbrowns in the "right" restaurant? Um, no.
15
That's nothing. I see morons standing outside all day downtown just to get donuts.
16
Blabby's got it. Go to Diane's on Foster or one of a handful of other family owned diners around here. You'll get a smile and breakfast for you and a pal for less than $25.
Then you can blow your savings sitting at the rack at Devil's Point down the street. Win-Win!
17
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I LOVE you, Anonymous <3
18
I rarely receive bad service anywhere in this city. On the contrary -- it's a tough job and I appreciate the effort most servers put into it. Stop whining.
19
I don't dine out & you know what i don't force people to behave the way i want them to. Wow, I'm so lucky because I don't eat. I bet your ass is wide as a soccer field eating all that junk. I don't get how people are able to spend so much money&time waiting for other people to make their food for them. Are you under the age of ten? No, so make your own food, you bible thumping glass -glow day -glow loather...
20
schadenfreude is why the kid at mcdonalds smiles.
21
The service, or lack thereof, is not really the thing that gets me. The Portland "thing" that bugs me is waiting at the counter to order, getting a number, then bussing your own table after you eat. (and expecting a tip anyway) I hate that shit. If I wanted to clean up after myself, I would eat at home.
22
Of course they expect a tip. They took your order, they prepared your food and they brought it to you. Service. If it's terribly difficult for you to put a plate in a tub when you're finished, eat at home or somewhere else where they'll bus your table.
23
That is what they are paid by their employer to do, its called a JOB. Its a really problem in Portland that service people seem to expect a tip for everything they do. It is for good service, not shit. However, I see people bitch about service and then still tip at 15-20%.
24
Ovidius, fair enough. However, let me ask you this; How much is fair to tip someone who is working at a place that requires you to wait in line to order, then bus your own table? 7.5%? half of what a "server" should get? Maybe less since you have to also get you own water, stand in line to get another beer? Just wondering if you would care to share you opinion. I generally give about 10% in this case, but I can afford to and feel bad for the nearly thirty-year-old rolling my burrito. Also, do you all actually separate the trash from the dishes and recyclables, as they often ask? I tend to dump it all in the same tub, except maybe the trash if it is convenient. Most of those places seem pretty happy with 10%, perhaps I am overtipping?
25
My opinion? Whatever you think is fine. I'm sure the servers at those places would be grateful for 10%. God knows they probably get worse. I'd just pay the minimum 20% tip and move on. It seems impossibly stressful and neurotic to dwell on the situation just so that you can shave $.50-1.00 off of your bill. A tip doesn't make a person your servant and it doesn't include a contract of specific obligations. It's a gratuity -- a way of saying thanks.

And yes, I do separate things. It takes a second. I also stack my plates if my table is being bussed and bring my glass to the bar when I've finished a drink. It's polite.
26

#26
Why don't you take the short amount of time it takes to recycle? Are you that careless? RECYCLE OR DIE...
27
@26:
You are #26.
28
I meant to write #24! Just Everyone recycle your recyclables please & thank you. Don't be careless & lazy about something so simple.
29
i have had this experience soo many times, you took the words right outta my mouth. and stop dressing like waldo you hipster fucks

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