Hey 1977 head phones, the bum that used you earlier called, he wants his ear-grease back

Hey Anonymous, bring your own headphones. You can pick up super cheap pairs AND you don't have to worry about who wore them last.

I wouldn't even use those headphones if I could hear myself reading the stock prices from 2031. (Besides, peyote works better for that.)

Heh. Liked the I,A. Loved the comments. (PS@Todd: Ten points for the peyote comment. You've truly got a screw loose, and God bless you for that.)

Some fucking English class from middle school called and it wants its superfluous apostrophe back.

What a blessed life you must have, if library headphones are a concern for you. You DO know that you can totally USE YOUR OWN HEADPHONES at the public library, right douche-bag?