Comments

1
Your mom doesn't talk to you nor does your sister? That's it? Holy white people problems batman. Things could be far, far worse.

Translation: [insert attentionwhore.gif here] ;) Seriously, you're not 12 anymore. We all have our sob stories. Everyone gets dealt some shit in life, but what you've posted by no means warrants suicide. Seriously, turn off the Bon Iver or Elliot Smith or whatever nonsense you obviously listen to and start living your life.
2
Dang, I,A sure called this one.
3
People who should STFU forever (an ongoing list in progress):
-Those who offer glib, facile prescriptions to other people's problems. "Start living your life!" Okay, Dr. Phil, or is it Norman Vincent Peale? Have you ever really tried to help someone with suicidal urges? Turn that frown upside down!

-Those who talk about everything in terms of "white people problems." Someone is severely depressed and you're going to throw their racial privilege in their face for no other reason than to make them feel stupid for talking about their problems in apparently the only way they know how?

-Those who try to make some lame putdown about non-upbeat music, spelling Elliott Smith's name wrong in the process and showing themselves up as an embarrassing waste of everyone's time.
4
Oh, and for anyone who isn't familiar with the slang "STFU," it stands for Smile That Frown Upside-down! Then just take that smile and stick it where the sun doesn't shine -- that is, wherever there's gloom or lack of positivity! Have a great day!
5
Greyser: next time you defend your I,A submission, don't make it so obvious.
6
@arenit you're kind of a jerk.
7
Ohhhh. Kick his mutha fuckin ass Geyser!
8
arenit: This person's problems may seem trivial to you but guess what? Severe depression is not something easily controlled. And people who say things like "You may be upset about things in your life, but cheer up/shut up! Other people have it way worse." have obviously never experienced it.

It's a terrible thing to kick someone when they're already so far down.
9
Ok then, sit around moping all day and see where that gets you! If you want to have a dialogue with your sister and mom, get off your ass and create it. Don't sit there stubbornly because you feel THEY should apologize to you first. If they're going to be stubborn it's up to you to be the bigger person, put your fragile ego aside and open up a dialogue with them. What won't help you is sitting around, feeling sorry for yourself and expecting strangers on the web to coddle your faux, self-inflicted woes.

Seriously, stop being such a pussy.
10
Yeah, "White People Problems" is a dumb fucking cultural meme whose five minutes is just about up. Your problems are your problems. And oh yes; Who Are You To Complain when you're not ...suffering an adequate amount or something. But here's an example of a problem white people have, because lots of people have it: many of them can't afford to own the car they drive to work. Yup. Can't say it's anywhere near as noble as starving to death or something, but it is an actual problem.
11
Yes. So write a suicidal I,Anon about your car woes too.

Way to play up the stereotype. ;)
12
It's just an example. We all got problems, and it's stupid to dismiss them out of hand. Conservatives and liberals alike do it way too fucking much.

And by the way, I happen to agree with part of what you said. If this were something a friend said to me vs. a creative writing exercise in a local weekly, I'd probably be recommending that they actually take some sort of action regarding the people in their lives as opposed to viewing themselves primarily as A Victim.
13
It's like the old saying: it's not what happens to you but how you respond to it. I could list off my woes here but I won't because you, rich bachelor, have probably had your own trials and tribulations.. as have pretty much every other living human being.

Sometimes one of the most beneficial things you can do is stop, take a deep breath and step outside your own personal view and take a look at the bigger picture. Threatening suicide because you are too stubborn to reach out to sis and mom is absolutely ridiculous, childish and bordering on the definition of an adult temper tantrum.

Honestly, not everyone is going to do the right thing, and sometimes mending relationships requires you, the party who feels truly wronged, to go above and beyond what you feel you are required to do and try to bridge the communication gap and get things on the right track. Yes, it's not easy to be the bigger person. Yes, it's not easy to apologize to someone when you feel they should be apologizing to you first. Yes, relationships with anyone - be it mom, dad, sis, boyfriend, son, roommate, etc - almost always have rough spots, but this is not exclusive to I,A. What allows us to not wallow in our own bullshit and go about living our llves is to recognize unhealthy problems in our relationships as soon as they occur and address them as soon as possible. The solution is NOT to wallow in self pity until you end up daydreaming about suicide and making references to slitting your wrist.

One of the worst things you can do for someone in I,A's position is to coddle them, to suggest they are doing nothing wrong and their problems are totally valid. They aren't. Clearly mom and sis aren't living up to I,A's expectations. I,A can do one of two things, cut the cord on those relationships and move on, or be the bigger person and reach out to them to make amends.

What won't help? Every thought I,A penned in this letter. I know it's not the sunshine everyone wants blown up their faux depressed ass but all these fragile egos and woeful emotions are pathetic. Grow the fuck up, you're not 5. You're a rational, thinking adult with the ability to address problems in your life and make them right - so stop holding off on it just so you can indulge in your own depression. It's beyond lame.
14
You guys are seriously harshing my mellow...
15
arenit I do agree with your general sentiment. Taking a step towards fixing things when others won't is always a legitimate option, and more than likely the best. And I also agree that taking action rather than wallowing is also a better option.

My only point was that, this person's depression is more than likely the result of many things, not just their issues with their family members. Depression isn't something where you're like "Man, I've got some shitty situations going on in my life.. Well, now I'm depressed." It's brain chemicals, something you can't actively do anything about.

Obviously there are things in general that this person could do to better the situation, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the depression will leave. It is very much like a disease. But like I said, it's hard to truly understand unless you've been there.
16
Oh, but actually Anon.. I'm going to contradict myself here. If you WANT your relationship with your family to be fixed then yes, do not wait for them to try and fix it. Try it yourself.

HOWEVER: If you feel that you would be better off without them in your lives, then just write them off and try to move on. I have a philosophy of "If you are too much of a negative influence in my life, you're written out." I know it's hard if it's your family.. but it can be done. My boyfriend never speaks one word to his mother, and refuses for our child to ever meet her. He's happy with her being out of his life. And that is more than likely how it will stay.
17
Anon - go here and read the archives: http://therumpus.net/sections/dear-sugar/ No pain is insurmountable. Summon up a spark and reach out and ask for help.
18
I don't care what any of these people say, they're dicks on the internet. Just ignore them. If this was real...not a troll, well...I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt.
This IA actually made me sad.
I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation. That's all. Nobody can change it but you. And you might not be able to change it. But I hope you can find something to fill the hole inside.
19
Did someone call for a hole filled?
20
arenit: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
21
Yeah, what #17 said, some Sugar will help you if you can't GET YOUR ASS INTO THERAPY, RIGHT NOW. Seriously, you need help, you know you need help. Needing help doesn't mean you're not strong. Depression is a motherfucker, I know. I'm not going to tell you it's going to get better, because you're gonna feel like shit for a long time. BUT! This is shit you can work through! This is how we live, slugging our way through the bullshit for one more day. It's worth it. There's things that are worth it. Here, this is kind of stupid but it cheered me up on a lonely birthday a couple of years ago:

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_threa…

p.s. get a cat or dog if you don't have one. Good luck.
22
arenit, before you tell other people how to deal with their depression, maybe you should address your own antisocial personality disorder.
23
Correct, I'm antisocial because you don't like my advice. A+
24
@arenit: no, dude, you're a dick that can't read.
25
@rich not to mention fucking racist
26
@23: "Grow up and turn off the Elliot Smith[sic]" is not advice for someone contemplating taking their own life. You're not a counselor or a mental health expert, or anyone who can help this person even if you wanted to (and be honest, you don't want to). You're just another socially maladapted dick on the Internet taking advantage of mutual anonymity to spew callous and mean-spirited bs at someone who is emotionally fragile. In person, you wouldn't repeat anything you've said to a clinically depressed person because it is evidently sociopathic. But you're getting your rocks off here because there are no consequences. That's antisocial.
27
What did Freddie's have a sale on troll bait?
28
Can I get an A+ too?
29
Look around sometimes and realize where you are in the world. Stop for a minute and just look up at the clouds or listen to the birds chirping. This place is absolutely beautiful. Your life, despite the many trivial and complicated relationships you have on this earth, is a beautiful thing. That is why I think you said you wouldn't, but would think about it. You'll be alright Anon. Take a break and hold your breath under water or drive out to Pendleton and hit up Prodigal Son. The time you get to think about yourself and take in the contrasting beauty of the gorge will help you realign yourself. Don't forget the glory of living!!!
30
TCH: who or what are you talking about?
31
Don't give up I, anon. counseling can do wonders. it has for me and I am sure it will again. asking for help means you are smart enough to take action when you know you don't have all the answers.
32
UnicornSomersault: Beautiful

And a perfect example of my thought process/actions as to why, despite my history of depression and anxiety, I could never take my own life. And now I've got that whole "mother" responsibility thing..
33
Ovidius: Keep encouraging self pity and the validation of self imposed depression if that's what makes you feel like a 'compassionate' person. Yes, this person is -choosing- to not speak to their sister/mother, then using this same lack of communication to justify suicidal thoughts. This is a situation Anonymous has absolute control over yet pretends not to.

Blind sympathy does nobody any good. Sorry if you find my advice to be antisocial. You can slap whatever descriptor you want on me, but I'm still right - and though my woes far surpass a few broken lines of communication with siblings, I'm certainly not suicidal. Grow some thicker skin and quit choosing to play into the role you seek.

In simpler terms, I'll quote Harry from In Bruges: "He’s suicidal? I’m suicidal, you’re suicidal, everybody’s suicidal! We don’t all keep going on about it! Has he killed himself yet? No. So he’s not fucking suicidal, is he?”

Tossing around verbiage like slitting one's wrist, then tempering said statement with 'but I won't really do it' screams ATTENTION WHORE, and the fact this author even included in his/her letter anticipation of unhelpful comments proves this letter is nothing more than an attempt to score attention (which said author received). They didn't expect helpful comments yet they submitted the letter anyway. The fact you're bending over backwards to appear sympathetic says way more about your own insecurities than mine.
34
Oh shut up. What do you know about this person and their problems? Jack shit. A little humility please. You acted like an ass, people called you out on it, and now you're bloviating in a clumsy and longwinded effort to excuse the inexcusable. A simple, "I'm sorry, I didn't think about what I was saying and I acted like a jerk," would accomplish a lot more than... this. Whatever this is. "Quit choosing to play into the role you seek"? What the fuck does that even mean?

I work in a clinic with people suffering from mood disorders and mental illness. It's not fun helping people carry on an uphill climb against debilitating psychological issues. Bullying, smug superiority and stigmatizing by people like you certainly doesn't make it any easier. I doubt you'll understand, since you're a bottomless sinkhole of self-righteousness and inhumanity, but what you call "blind sympathy" is probably just ordinary sympathy.

I'm sorry that you're facing terrible hardship in your own life, hardship that you believe trumps most other peoples' problems and entitles you to an elevated ethical position. But whatever you struggle with in life should make you more humble and sensitive toward others, not crude and morally disengaged.
35
lol @ "people called you out on it". Nothing like trying to validate your own weak point by saying "I can't be wrong, other people replied to your advice too!". I guess Jessica Simpson is a good musician because lots of people bought her albums too? Groupthink is failed logic. Here's a hint: when you're in a hole, stop digging.

You're trying way too hard to pat yourself on the back with your contrived sympathy, and throwing in the classic "I work in a clinic so I'm right you're wrong end of story" is about the weakest attempt at shutting someone down I've seen on here in recent memory, but I appreciate your effort.

Seriously, the only reason you can't let this go is because you can't come up with a single valid point. Your only rebuke is "people have emotions, why are you so mean!?" You could care less about Anon, your only purpose in taking the position you took is for your own ego stroking, to make -yourself- look good by feigning compassion for a situation that requires some honest talk about acting like an adult, instead you present yourself as the warrior who is both understanding of and in agreement for someone's decision to refuse contact with their family then use that same excuse as a reason to threaten suicide. You are supporting someone playing games with serious matters (and if you think Anon's letter was serious perhaps you missed the title of their letter where they explicitly said they wouldn't do it). Their letter is a slap to all those who are genuinely suicidal and have made suicide attempts. The fact you defend this phony suicide letter and try to frame anyone who calls Anon out on it as "antisocial" behavior (boy you sure were scraping the bottom of the barrel there) leads me to believe whatever shanty of a clinic you claim to work at must have all the reputation of downtown Detroit Chuck-E-Cheese.

Your posturing in this thread is blatant, your lack of substantive advice obvious, and your accusations empty and without any merit. I'm all for an intelligent back and forth but it's going to require you to bring something intelligent to the table. You're 0 for 3 thus far and still empty handed.
36
You don't have an argument that I see. And I fundamentally don't respect or like you, so we'll leave it there.
37
Never underestimate the fragility of the human ego.
38
@rich everything arenit is saying.
39
Tch. See if you can poke that fucker above you with your dagger.
40
TCH: gotcha.
41
The saddest part about all of this is the realization that arenit sounds like he/she is in the same boat as this other fella. Just hasn't hit yet. Sure sounds like the loneliest fucker I've heard of in a while. And I remember being that pompous ass when I was a teenager. Then reality hit me and I truly understood the dream of escape and that it lies within all of us. Hope you ask for advice when this day comes to you too. We'll help you out though, cause we've gotten past your level of thinking. Way ahead of that...
42
I recently lost a good friend to suicide. It was not the first friend I have lost to this. Please understand that you DO matter, and the only one who will always be there for you is YOU, Yes I know that sucks and it's hard. It's hard for many of us. Having PTSD does not make it easier for me, but we all have burdens. So if you are being genuine, understand you are not at all a bad person, and we all need somebody. I know. I have always been there for others, but reciprocation is another story. I hope you find this person, and find strength in yourself. Good luck
43
OP: I'm sorry you're feeling shitty. Keep your head up - it won't be like this forever. Just keep focusing on putting one foot in front of the other - you can come back from this.

Please wait...

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