"Your anus...", isn't that a planet?

How do you know people have finished shitting and are on their smartphones unless you're peeking through the cracks? Let me guess, you're one of those weirdos who walks in, quickly washes their hands then walks out anytime you can't have the full bathroom to yourself? You sound like the mall-cop of your company's bathroom. Enjoy your life of constipated aggression, weirdo!

We all need a little "me time" every now & then.

If you didn't shit your pants as a result of the post dump phone fondling antics of others it obviously wasn't that big of a deal.

It's like Anonymous looked into my soul... I'm so ashamed.

fuck that -- any 'me time' i need i'll get while NOT sitting on a disgusting, tainted, public shit-throne with my pants rubbing against the pubic hairs and urine trails that line the bowl all the way to the ground, thank you very much.

maybe i'm just weird, but i tend not to enjoy hanging out in places where piss and shit are present.

also, just in case the accused *are* actually shitting (or trying to) that whole time: man, if it takes you longer than one or two minutes to drop a load and wipe off, something's wrong -- for starters, try getting some fiber from sources other than the bleached-white buns of your mcdonald's breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I can't come in ten seconds like that guy in the Kinsey movie, sorry.

White people problems.

Sitting hunched over the toilet for long periods of time can strain the veins in your anus, aggravating hemorrhoids. The future sounds painful.

@11,

RACISM!

^HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

Why are you so concerned about what people are doing while shitting?

"... calling the kettle black."

More of that famous passive-aggro Portland racism.