This is pretty good I,A. Not truly enraged or off the rails, but something you can't say to someone's face because it would be pointless/unheard. You're getting it out. I'm glad we're here for you, anonymous bitcher.

Cottage cheese, beans, boiled eggs? I bet this chick's farts smell brutal as fuck.

LOL -- awesome! Also, I'm immediately adopting "Hidden Valley Snatch" into my regular vocabulary usage.

I had to come back and read this again, it's that funny! "Ranch dressing salad-volcano", LMAO ROTF!!

So this is the infamous "just having a salad for lunch" trick.

Gross.

All washed down with diet Coke, no doubt.

What? Nobody's going to come to the aid of the unhealthy and obese against this bigoted obesity-shamer? Portland is truly losing its way.