ZZZZZzzzzz.......

One through five is not a hipster! That's just being born in Portland, you know that.
And, number 13. (We bike naked, butt pants are important.)

"Clarice, don't these chicken wing frying parties seem *desperately* random?"

22. you got to a potluck dinner with nothing but an appetite and a 1930's thrift shop fork.

Change the words "know you are" to "might be" and you have a Jeff Foxworthy joke. If these submissions didn't have a 300 word limit this hack might have gone on for hours.

23. You can't communicate in complete sentences and you have to innumerate poorly formed sweeping generalizations and vague innuendos so intelligent people have a marginally increased chance of understanding your irrational half-baked stereotypes.

You know you're fucking pathetically jealous of hipsters when:

1. You've never been accused of being a hipster, even as an insult. Probably due to the dorky white tennis shoes you wear that look like your mom bought them for you, and/or you're still wearing cargo pants.

2. You desperately try to figure out what makes a person a hipster.

3. You claim to hate hipsters and insist on accusing everyone around you under the age of 35 of being one.

4. You claim to be familiar with bands you've never heard of and hate anyone who has the balls to admit they haven't heard of every band on the planet.

5. Wacky random? Really?

6. You didn't get sick of complaining about hipsters 5 years ago.

New material, Jeff Foxworthy?

What's a hipster?

Easily one of the lamest IA posts of all time. Oh no!!!!! I must be a hipster now that I've read and responded to this post.

hating on hipsters is so 2012.