Am I really the only person in Portland who will say "Hey, there's actually a line here!"?

It works, really well. And then people think you have giant balls for pointing out the obvious. Try it some time!

It's pretty funny to waltz into Salt&Straw to pick up a to-go pint (for which the employees have expressly said that you do not need to wait in line) and just watch the incensed rage wash over the face of everyone waiting in line.

But then, I just paid $8 for a pint of ice cream, so I guess the joke's on me.

Your first problem: You were in a SW "cupcakery."

On a few occasions I have unintentionally walked to the front of the line. Am I the only one that has noticed that Portlanders (seem to be those under the age of 30) have a tendency to stand about 5 feet away from the place to order? Its weird.

Add 'avoiding drama in the SW cupcakery' to the list of good reasons to eat like a grown up.

"Please wait your turn"

That's what she tells the group of dudes she goes home with from Oldtown every weekend.