I didn't read all of this shit, but have you heard of a bank? Money Bank if you watch The Simpsons.

Dude plug a dollar into any vending machine and hit cancel.

Pointless anonymous banal story hour, here I come!

I can dig it Spare Quarter: I went into a bank with a
twenty in hand for quarters and they wanted ID. How
can a guy get a high stakes poker game going with his
Granny without them Washingtons.

This was really funny, and if you need to pay me in dollars, I'll totally whore out my W&D for you. But, I do have one slightly important question.. What's, What's an $8 pack of butts? lol Does it take you eight bucks to clean your drawers?

"Unattended service counter" Stop I, Anon from your cell phone crazy.

So, to boil this down, some guy exhaled slowly before retrieving some coins for you. Seemed like it took forever. I used to drop acid too.

What is up with the formatting here? Is it supposed to be free verse? That's not how you use line breaks.

Yeah, banks. Or the customer service counter is usually pretty good about it (except at Freddy's, apparently).

At least your Nixon shirt is clean now.

I find it hard to concentrate
on your story because
I keep trying to decide
whether or not you
have figured out that
text wrapping is a thing
that happens automatically or
you have a nervous tic that
makes your pinky hit the
carriage return. For a moment
I thought you'd hidden a secret
message but that wouldn't
make sense unless
"HvIptSgbuesHmst1tTihwihoowosC"
is some kind of wacky cipher.
Something something clean
clothes and soda pop.

"At least your Nixon shirt is clean now."

As in, that dumbass band from the mid 90's who sang that dumbass song about their sister or something like that? Wow. Hell of a reference if so.

Stretch: the reference was to what was in the I, Anon post:

"I get a look from a clerk named
Sonny, like I'm wearing an I Love Nixon T shirt"

Nixon? Mojo nixon?