You held a grudge against an entire fanbase for at least a month, maybe more, because you got hit in the face with a fucking scarf? What sort of nefarious revenge scheme do you have from the last time you were pelted with a snowball?

This is how I felt after a guy wearing a Detroit Lions hat smudged my Pumas back in 1982. Almost every year since has been sweet revenge...

Thanks for being available for the scarf abuse. Your presence helped alleviate the unresolved sexual tension when nobody scores.

Yesssssss!

If this is the worst you've got, your life must be pretty sweet.

What? No one else believes the Timbers and their hordes of Cro-Magnon fans have ruined the city?

Why did Michael Moore chose the title, "Bowling for Columbine" for the documentary?

He interviews a couple of phys ed classmates of the subject misfits, who said that the way they bowled was to just sort of stand there and throw the ball at the pins.

Does bowling cause violence?

I/A you gotta be talking about a dippy soccer game. In the
past decade a total of 20 goals have been scored. I wished
you could have risked pouring an ice cold pitcher full on that
jerk who probably left you a bullocks tip.

Contrary to popular belief, soccer is not an "alt-sport" (don't get me started) and you are not a unique and beautiful snowflake for liking it. But ask any fairweather Timbers fan and they'll tell you how different it is from other pro sports, how Portland has so much "team spirit", etc. What a load of shit.

If anything, soccer fans are middle-of-the-road, lukewarm suburban dullards who'd never have considered giving two shits about the sport if they'd simply accepted the fact, decades ago-- that they in fact are not cool or cultured or care much about anything other than dumb corporate entertainment churning out landfills upon landfills worth of ugly merchandise. So fucking predictable. It's like being a fan of-- god no, not McDonald's-- but rather the Wendy's of sports.

No, most of the world likes soccer (and probably Wendy's too) so of course the middle-class white folk feel like they'e somehow been left out over the past 100+ years of fandom for pro football, pro baseball, pro basketball, pro hockey, etc. Find that one thing that's "missing" from your lives (another mindless distraction?) and frantically dump $100+ per game down the hole in beer, food and other concessions. Prattle on about it at the water cooler amongst talk of your new home theater system your Volkswagen's latest mechanical failure or that one time you didn't throw up at Crossfit.

Fucking. Boring.

I hate soccer but I love the passion of the idiots who love soccer. Cut the dopes some slack for liking the most boring game in the history of organized athletics. A little face scarf is not that bad...what if they had lifted your shirt???

It'd be cool if people realized you're allowed to like soccer and other sports. You can enjoy both soccer and football. Even baseball, but THAT shit is boring. At least soccer only has commercials at the half, rather than EVERY HALF INNING.

You could stand to learn a thing or two from soccer. You should have screamed and flailed dramatically flinging plates of food in the air then dropped in a heap. Stealthily jabbing yourself in the eye on the way down, you could have convulsed moaning on the ground clutching your eye socket. Then you call the cops and have him yellow carded for a foul.

Or if you knew jiu-jitsu you could have choked him unconscious with his own scarf.

The Blazers are doing great so far this season. Forget European football.

I don't think I'm tough enough for the Timbers Army, though I did once remain standing throughout an entire blowjob.

The problem with soccer in Portland is that nobody drinks enough beer. We could learn a thing or two from those Scottish soccer hooligans. Now there's an example of spirit.