Being a gross drunk is like a badge of honor around here

You have a drinking problem.

You have an I, Anonymous problem.

Its a message from the future about the past of a great writer

What you've got like many of us is a follow-through problem. Your best laid plans only last till conk out time. I'll bet you read your rant and thought "what was I gonna say?" It'll come back to you in a week maybe. Yes and those next day promises as numerous as stars in the sky. Have a good Holiday and keep the driving to a minimum.

Try to have at least a little self-control and leave ten ounces or so of Mickey's in the bottle to drink for breakfast.

Four dollar bottle of wine and a 40 of Mickey's? Nope, I don't envy those problemz.