When I go to the animal shelter, the first thing I tell them is that I have a 4-inch penis, I'm very insecure and really need to compensate.

I think the name of the band is the "goo goo dolls", but yes they do suck.

Give up your hopes, dreams and happiness and become a sour, emotionally crippled man. Years from now people will argue, was it suicide or autoerotic asphyxiation?

Ron Swanson wrote this. (Not Blabby). Therefore I can say that the white doggie was like the snow beast from star wars but was quickly diminished due to the star wars heriarchy of A listers. Because who would write such thing with such characteristics if not Ron Swanson.

Only bitches say things like "for heaven's sakes(sic)". Why don't you man up and tell your nephew to his face that the dog that makes him happy doesn't measure up to your cunty standards??

I read somewhere that Hitler had a German Shepard.

I'm just sayin'...

First I'll get rid of my two little cuties and get a Doberman.
Yeah, then I'm gonna get a big truck with a gun rack in it too.
Asshole.