Have headphones available on transit. Always.

OH NOoooooo. You're in PUBLIC. With PEOPLE.
Gosh that must be hard for you.

See, Mercury, this proves it's really Prozac we need to add to the water supply.

Hmmm, maybe a run of the mill conversation wouldn't sound so unbearable if you did something about that dead end job of yours.

Or, you could demand absolute silence upon boarding said public transportation. I'd love to see how that works out.

Sorry, but I prefer even fake laughter and bad conversation to the deafening silence, deadened stares and absent thumbing that characterize the things that share my morning commute.

I have an MFA with a focus on Conversation.

I majored in Communication.

Oh really?

Yeah.

Perfectly valid and self-effacing rant.

Another hipster case of 'they're louder than I am...fuck.'

Why back in the days before FB and Twitter, people used to masturbate one another in the back of the #8 bus.