""I'm going back to New York City, I do believe I've had enough."

haha, yes, "I can't have a fresh slice of pizza? this city is too rough, must return to nyc!"

At first I assumed it was Pizzacatos, til I remembered they usually half bake their slices then finish them off upon order. Or could be Rovente, but that'd be weird since their service is really good. That leaves the likely culprit: Hot Lips, the most overpriced shit pizza this town has to offer.

The hot slice would have burned the shit out of your kids mouth. They did you, and your kid, a favor.
Also, unless you have travelled the world, you have no idea how bad it gets. Ever sit with someone eating their pizza with mayonnaise and ketchup on it? That is a good start for worse.

Stop your bitching IA

Or go to Jacksonville, Oregon- where pizza is literally made with cheez whiz.

Yes, oh entitled one. Definitely you should ask a service worker to violate company policy and risk their job.

Maybe they were just giving you a hard time because you were yet another entitled parent.

And here's a thought: Maybe order another type of pizza if you don't want that particular slice (if it has to be cheese, pick the stuff off and eat it, then hand it to your kid). Here's another: they heat the counter slices up in an oven, so your precious spawn (who probably eats its boogers) needn't worry about cooties.

A final thought: NYC wouldn't put up with your shit either, and you know it.

Overpopulation, gun violence, government corruption, etc.

They don't hold a candle to the issue of 30 minute old pizza. This world is going to hell in a hand basket. I realized this when I got some dried up chicken from the New Seasons hot bar the other day. I have filed a complaint with the UN.

Hey, it's not the worst thing in the world in all categories, Rick, just customer service. And my beef is with the company that made the policy and not the worker who has to uphold it. I did very well in NYC, where they would give you any slice you pick out because most folks who can make it there believe in being the BEST that they can be. You don't survive otherwise. And I wouldn't be thinking of returning to NYC just because the pizza is shit here(most is just average), but mainly because a lot of the people in Portland are unmotivated, not that original or creative, and annoying as hell. And for someone who considers myself an artist and an honest human being, I like telling the truth in conversation. To assisse: the name of the pizza place rhymes.

Oops, Bonzomom just violated I,A Rule One: You don't comment on your own I,A.

Thanks, 'cause now you've given us even more ammo: You're not only an entitled parent and expat New Yorker who bitches about how things were better there (everyone LOVES that), but you're AN ARTISTE!

But by all means, rage on against the evil Portland Pizza Overlords who wouldn't cater to your whim. I'm willing to bet that the way you asked had something to do with it. Even if not, perhaps you could have waited five minutes and come back. There were so many better ways you could have handled the situation. Instead, you want the world to share your indignant unjustified rage. Shake those fists at the heavens! RARRRRR!

I think I'mma go get a slice from Schmizza RIGHT NOW, because of how they didn't put up with your shit. Thanks for the suggestion!

Let the feeding frenzy begin! Hey crew we have a twitcher here!

Besides commenting on their own post this I,A also just violated the Covenant of the Obvious: never bitch about the rain, never bitch about Californians, and never turn around in the road to run over roadkill again just to flatten it out.

Yes, when one fiends for a quality slice, they head to pizza shmizza.

Whoa there fella- take a couple bong rips and settle down.

Old pizza tastes pretty good if you get the munchies bad enough.

bozomom: Ahh yes, Pizza Schmizza. They made headlines about a decade ago when they hired homeless people to hold signs advertising the business in exchange for pizza and soda. I personally had no problem with it, but for some reason many PC types lost their shit over it.

As for Portland types, well yes many are lazy here but that's sorta the culture. It's the complete opposite of NYC, as I'm sure you can tell by now. Slow paced, lots of herb fiends, a town full of Lebowski types but yes, the downside is lots of flakes and "forgetfulness". If you wanted NYC you should've stayed in NYC (more artists there than here anyways).

But Portland has some good things going for it.. cleanliness, low crime, great public transit/bike infrastructure, beer, food carts. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with answering your own IA submission. If there was a section called I, Identified I'd read that one just as much.

Hint to assisse: the pizza place has a name that rhymes.

should have went to Sizzle Pie..

Bonzo, I'm one of the few that doesn't care that you responded to your own I,Anon. I've had my own unpleasant dealings with Schmizza. They're definitely a joke.

But, if an establishment is only willing to sell you a stale turd, just walk out. Businesses like that don't hold a candle to cable and cell phone companies that rape you w/o repercussion. Opportunities to vote with your wallet are few and far between. It's up to us to fight these battles. I've walked away from many a favorite establishment because they lost sight of who they're serving.

As consumers, aside from the monopolies, we decide where our dollars are spent. Don't people always wonder why people stay in abusive relationships? This is just another, much less consequential, example of that thought process.

bachelor: I know it's not popular with the indie ethos of everything always being better in the past, but Portland has gotten much better than it was 1995, and a lot if that is due to the colorful and creative people that have flocked here over the last few decades. I hope Portland continues to grow and become an even more interesting place. Not sure why you'd want to prevent people from moving here.

(except for traffic. fuck Portland traffic for life)

You couldn't make it in NYC because they couldn't stand you.

Hmmmm my littler snot nosed kid didn't get perfect pizza in PDX like I thought I used to get in NYC, therefore I'll show you bastards. I'm moving back to NYC so my little snot nosed kid can get the pizza he deserves...take that you PDX bastards!! OK Bonzo...see ya later we'll be in touch!!

And for someone who considers myself an artist and an honest human being, I like telling the truth in conversation.

"considers myself" is the key to this whole IA. Honey, you moved here from Des Moines.

And if you need help packing, I'm not as lazy as we all look...

I was going to post something about how absolutely trivial this is. But now I just want pizza. Slave to the slice, and I'm ok with it,

Big points for sneaking a Dylan lyric in there, though.

(Seriously, did nobody catch that? You people are a crying shame.)

This rant isn't even poem-worthy.

I decided to post responding to my own I, anon...now responding again to commentary. Looking back after calming down a bit. My main reason for turning to this venue to rant was in response to being unable to find a phone number anywhere that led to a human being involved with that company that gave a shit. I mentioned my c.s. experience because I choose to work in a field where my humility and caring about my customers' experience contributes to their being nurtured by another human. I guess my idealism about how we should treat each other stems from coming of age before the onset of the technology which dehumanizes our interactions. I never called myself an artiste, but an artist. It is a job description. I get paid for performing music, ironically usually by snarky youngsters who would criticize me and call me entitled, if they only knew that the musician they assume thinks exactly like they do was me.

Oh, boo hoo. How old do you honestly think that slice of pizza was? What exactly makes you think it wouldn't pass health inspection? There are rules on how long food can be left out and unless that was broken there's no reason for you to whine that they wouldn't bend the rules for you, because that's exactly what you asked them to do. Instead of teaching your child a valuable lesson, actually two valuable lessons, that you can't always get what you want and also that things like less than perfectly fresh food won't kill you, instead you helped bolster a feeling of entitlement in your little soon-to-be monster. Bad job, bad job.