According to Urban Dictionary, a pediophile is a man who prefers blow up dolls to real women. So, clearly this man would be frightened by human interaction. And your response (trigger warning) is really shaming him for his unique set of desires and limitations. This clearly comes from a place of great privilege on your part, and you really need to check that on your way back to the Hamptons.

This rant is pure and unfiltered Portland passive aggression. Grade A stuff, first pressing.

"SMILE BACK AT ME OR I'LL CUT YOUR FACE SON!"

"if you want to live in a city where you don't have to care about other people move to fucking NYC"

If there is one city where you have to care about other people, it's NYC. I guess you don't get out much.

This I,A runs red-faced from max stop to max stop administering scolding lessons but yet demands friendly countenances from those trapped within their daily seven degrees of separation.

I think we have a keeper.

If a person doesn't want to acknowledge you, it is no big deal. So you have lived here a long time, and should be used to a lot of people not into chatting it up with strangers.
You might join a group that has things in common with you.

Getting to know your neighbors can often be creepy.

My downstairs neighbor killed himself in the laundry room last year. Everyone please dislike this.

This reminds me of the time I was walking through NE back in my awkward mid-teens. Very old black dude wearing some overalls who looked like he had seen some serious shit in his life said, 'Hey, How are you?' as I walked by his house.

'Hey...' was all I could come up with.

'I SAID... HOW... are... YOU?!?!?!!?'

'I'm fine.'

You need his address so you can go over and ask him if he wants to get a beer? I mean, it was 15 years ago and he was old but he might have made it just off pure moxy and stick-to-itiveness alone...

I have the opposite problem. My neighbors think I am being friendly when I am just squiling because the winter sun is in my eyes.

Don't just smile and say hi, get on the bus and grin broadly while trying to swat imaginary fruit flies that are swarming on your crotch.

You monsters.

Well, clearly you guys didn't get the irony in my above comment. You must not have seen the Ryan Gosling film about the man in love with a "real girl." If this were a woman, you'd be all about her trauma.

Anyhow, I hate random BS small talk. Hi. Hello. How are you? Nice weather we're having. What is accomplished with this?

Why does it always have to be New York? Why can't I get sent back to Cleveland or Pittsburgh?

Most if not all of the complaints about not getting smiles returned from strangers include the assumption that the non-smilers think they're "too cool" to smile. I believe this is rarely true, but usually a matter of not wanting to risk inviting unwanted conversation from someone who might be annoying in one way or another. By annoying I mean asking for money, a cig, a date or seeking an ear to listen to a stranger's gripes, personal problems, political opinions or religious blather. I've gotten all of those in return for reflexively smiling back at someone on the street or a bus or in line waiting for something. It took a while, but I learned my lesson and I know I'm not all that cool.

We aren't too cool to smile. We just like to keep to ourselves here, and observe other people's personal space.

It wasn't until you people all started moving here that anyone complained about it. It worked fine. If you want to be around extroverts, or need constant reinforcement, go back where you came from.

Portland culture decided long ago that things like "balls" and "charisma" were uncool or off putting. And that can be true when things get obnoxious. But it's equally as obnoxious to have a total lack of community, full of overly self concious introverts.