Well at least I,A tried both flavors before complaining.

Fuck you. Sobbing to death is still a serious issue. When you see someone with a teardrop tattoo near their eye, that means they've lost a loved one to STD.

You can't ask that girl out because her meathead boyfriend will beat you into the living death.

You will be dateless for eternity you shallow fuck.

Best Wishes,

Ugly Bitch

I think I want to date a mountain. I've noticed a lot of alluring possibilities. St. Helens in particular. My life is about to get a lot more interesting.

While we're on the subject, why do the women I date get weirded out when I scrutinize them with a jeweler's loupe?

I'd just be cool if people stopped putting up pictures with their nieces and nephews. Scares the bejesus out of me.