...aaaaand hot-dug buns while we're at it.

Because then it would become plural rather than singular. Or rather, should I say, they would then become plural? Except then they would have had to been two, to begin with. I don't know. Maybe you just can't be trusted not to manage two halves, without dropping one off the table?

Yes, the "cutoffs" are then nicely shaped into triangular muffins and then given to the neighborhood shelter right there while still hot or help me god I'll write a review on Yelpie about that establishment saying the truth that it tastes like sand.

Don't cut the muffhinge. Just don't. Don't ask why.

You gonna put half in the toaster and half raw?



FYI- that's really just solid panko...........

I've seen a lot of clever quipping and dancing around the subject, but nothing of substance to address the actual question. Clearly they have the technology. Its there. Its real. But something prevents them from actually using it to its full potential and cutting through my muffin for me. Something "stays their hand". Is it one of those strange traditions we get from Medieval Times (tm), like a man always sliced his own muffin so he could be sure it wasn't poisoned or something?

Here's a great example of why we're going to go the way of the Roman's. We can't figure out a way to provide healthcare for all our citizens, but some schmuck's great question in life is why english muffins aren't pre-sliced.

Uhhh, cost cutting and freshness considerations, duh!!!!

@RickStevens, Yes, subscribe to I, Anonymous, that together we might solve the profound social ills of our time. Seriously? I thought it was billed as "The Rant Blog". I think you might have I, Anonymous confused with some other blog. I suggest you go read that blog and stop wasting your time trying to save the world from here. Also, please understand that the muffins come in a plastic bag and are *partially* sliced, yet not all the way through. Your freshness/cost-cutting explanation seems to fall short. Framing it between "uhhh" and "duh" made me smile as you came across as so... queefy.

Every morning I have to get out a knife and slice the rest of the way through my english muffin before I can toast it. Now if they would just finish the job, I'd have more time to spend working on real problems like universal healthcare, better aqueducts, and rampant schmuckiness.

@balloontah, You may be under the impression that my comment was directed at you. If not, you must be overly emotionally invested in this rant. Possibly to the point of authoring this curt, yet riveting, one sentence/question "rant."

If this is a rant blog, maybe YOU should visit an english muffin FAQ blog to address your '"oh so" relevant question.

The nook vs. cranny question has always perplexed me personally.

@balloontah, Oh, and just tear the fucking things like the rest of us. You could get 20 years of your life back and be lucky to beat Super Mario Brothers even once.

@RickStevens, The funny thing is, I'm not emotionally invested at all. If I really cared, I'd just ask the company. It was one of those wtf things and I,A seemed like a fun place to put the question. Now I see that it isn't. I,A is your own personal Super Mario Brothers and you win by earning the most queef points. And since I don't actually care, I happily concede, sir. Congratulations! You did it! You won!

Whoopeee!!!! I anxiously await my trophy balloontah, and your next "rant."

I suspect it'll be along these lines...

"What's the deal with GrapeNuts? You open the box, no grapes, no nuts?" "what's the deal?!?!?!?"

fork it, don't cut it