Looking Away

Comments

1
No no no, another one. It's "you're odd behavior" not "your odd behavior". Damn it's hard. To get this thru.
2
Heavy shit for a rant blog. I know you didn't solicit advice, but please speak up in real life. Tell a friend or friends, they will help you cope or confront, whatever you choose. There is hardly a person alive who hasn't been affected by a loved one or family member's drug addiction. Just saying, any fear of judgement you have will not manifest if you ask for help.
3
Once she can no longer afford crack, she'll be down to meth, then all hell will break loose. She'll be totally nuts out of her mind. At that point there will be no denial about it on your part or anyone else's. Now is the time for you to take all the money from your joint accounts, and put it all in your own name. Then and only then, consult a shrink about conducting an intervention. Also, she might be fucking her pusher. When the money dries up, he'll be pimping her out. Get your head straight in advance for all this shit.
4
For the kids' sake get this straightened out before she lets her crack friends know anything about your family. Comments 2 and 3 make some very good points. Please listen to them. Good Luck.
5
Dude, You can't come here with this shit. If it's true, you better speak to her about this. This is your marriage, and if you really care about her, you have to say EXACTLY the things you're afraid to say to her. Her life depends on it, if nothing else.

Good luck man!!!!
6
She's in denial and if you hastily confront her without a shrink, she'll run away with all your money.
7
Obviously if you do an intervention with people she doesn't recognize because she's under the influence it can have a retroactive effect on her and her living room planking may get worse.
8
I hate passivity I feel like its the bane of this city. People, wake up. You're inability to directly communicate damages relationships and creates unnecessary tension and conflict. Please try try try to say obvious things to friends and loved ones like "you smell," "you have gotten fat," "seems like you are high on crack what's going on?" How can you live like this, not telling the truth to people you supposedly care about. Portlanders. It's sick.
9
Bikes, the gateway drug...


Just get honest with her and prepare to draw a line in the sand. She needs to choose between family or being a selfish idiot.
10
Once you say anything to her about her strange behavior, the cat will be out of the bag, and she'll justify divorcing you, taking you to the cleaners, and blowing all your money and the proceeds from selling the house, and paying it to her pimp/dealer. Don't say shit to her at all. Cash out all you holdings and purchase an annuity; preferably Swiss. They confiscated everything that OJ Simpson owned, but to this day, even as he languishes in prison, they can't touch his annuity, by law. After you've got your finances in order, if you still care to try and save her from herself, go ahead and knock yourself out.
11
Its kind of a proud moment for this blog the usual suspects have avoided cracking jokes about such a serious topic.
12
Hey, if she's hot and if Hayley won't put out, I'll finance her habit and find her a better connection.
13
@FredUpton, remember, if you ask me out, you gotta pay ;)
14
In addition to the others' suggestions, you might try Nar-anon. It's a program for people affected by others' drug use. It's important that you keep a healthy mindset around this whole series of events so that you can deal with your own emotions and actions in a a healthy way. 12 step programs aren't for everyone, but it might be worth checking out to see if anything might help you. Biggest thing is that it's not your problem to fix, it's hers. Your part is to decide whether you want to stick around with the kids or whether you should get out with them until (if) she straightens out. And remember, her drug problem is not your fault.
15
Better call Saul!
16
Hey, Hayley, send me a rate card!
17
^Run Haley Run
18
^He's quite the looker though, right?
19
^yeah, she might fall hard-the look keeps changing,familiar face,but I'm not sure who. My husband said it's Dan Folgerburg or Barry Manilow.Maybe a profile would help.
20
I don't get it, was she jus' hangin' in the G-rage smokin' crack, or were there actual bike rides involved?

'cause none of the late night bike rides I know about are infested by crackheads, just drunks and pot heads...
21
Deal with it very privately at first - but very stern.
No need to worry the family or friends, yet anyway.
But try to be a friend more than anything -- whenever she feels the urge, go for a bike ride with her. Take the kids.
Try to deal with it with as least drama as possible, but sternly. Try to emphasize how the money being blown this way could go for a great vacation instead, or help the kids out somehow.
Tough problem. I wish you the best.