Anonymous May 5, 2014 at 8:06 pm

Comments

1
Here's a tip. Never leave the house.
2
I only shop from vending machines and eat at the bowling ally.
3
Think of it as paying tribute. The brave, free-spirited service-industry employees are living the dream: no responsibilities, no obligations, just endless hanging out in cool spots doing cool stuff. That's the kind of Portland we all want! The kind of Portland we were promised!

You, on the other hand, are slaving away in some cubicle, worrying about boring stuff like mortgage payments and your dumb kid's report card. Hey, it's not the barista's fault that you bought into the American Dream! The lame one, I mean, not the one they talk about in Levi's commercials.

Why not toss Johnny Man-Child a fiver so he can spend his 293rd consecutive Monday drunk on PBR and playing kickball or bike polo or ironically unicycling? Let these flag-waving Portland Patriots fade away and you'll have nothing left to dream about. Might as well move to Vancouver.
4
However, as opportunity affords, I do tip cows.
5
Solution: bring your own tip jar everywhere and put it down on the counter when placing your order.
6
On a scale of.. 2
7
Always order using a foreign accent and bad English so they'll think you "donnow whad iz zee teep char."
8
Thank you! I've been saying all along "MORE TIPPING POSTS!" but no one would listen! You deserve some sort of compensation, a sort-of monetary "thank you", for this excellent post. Maybe a trip to the I,A prize closet?
9
Since they're railing on tipping in general, I will have to cut them some slack on this.

Chunty always has the best comments about the service industry. I love it!!!
10
An obvious fake...how many roommate situations do you know where people take turns doing everyone's laundry at once?
11
Yeah, we should be tipping our beloved Oracle Programmers too, right?!

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