Today's challenge: submit your rant/rave using only things you'd find in a frat house kitchen. Submission #3 is off to a strong start using the creative juices of weed butter combined with the medium of word magnets for a truly confounding I,A. It's going to be a challenge to top this one folks, but if there's anything we've learned from previous I,A's, never underestimate our fair city's capacity for complete blathering idiocy.
I wrote a sweet poem with fridge magnets once. They inhabited a house were I rented a room for a while a few years back in Victoria. It was so awesome I e-mailed it to a friend. I still have it on my old Canadian e-mail account that I rarely use anymore. I embellished some of the words because there were remnants of a prefix- suffix package mixed in. Here it is:
"Delirious Love Journey"-
Sweat the night sausage/ a miscreant protuberance
lachrymosely boil whole/ spray a morose egg lather
gratuitous meat shake secretes not/ viscous saturated rain
fusillade arm pounding/ nefarious faux skin apparatus
no cholesterol protein milk/ treatment medicine
lambaste bare hewn filial morass/ fresh skin cycle
unctuously abscond fastlyer away/ crassly festooned
this sordid impecunious void
When I say that Samuel L Jackson is only an actor, that's not to diminish the fact that he is a most excellent actor, as is Denzel Washington. I honestly thought that Jackson played Malcolm there for a second, but didn't want to have to do a rewrite, so kept going. My intent was to challenge the insinuation that somehow, SLJ must have to measure up to some nebulous standard of expectation by the instigator of this thread. If Martin Luther King Junior warrants his own holiday, then why not Malcolm Little? Nobody ever voted for him, either. MLK is commemorated with a public holiday, replacing one of the presidents' birthdays. Now, George Washington and Abe Lincoln have to double up on the same day. While some unelected guy who never even starred in a major motion picture, gets one whole day, all to himself. In all fairness, to MLK, or unfairness as the case may be, MLK Day was instituted without the permission of the man himself. He might actually be rolling over in his grave over the injustice of the act. The Federal Government is not only using his name without his permission, they haven't even paid his estate for the privilege. How about the damages to his reputation and his cause? The US Government steals his identity as if he endorses the US Government as if in approval of the government in meeting all his aspirations. Remember Rodney King?
Every damned month there's some sort of annoying holiday when all the computer labs shut down, and everybody gets to post all sorts of nonsense without my corrections. I'm equally fed up with Dead Masons' Day as I am with MLK.
Exactly. Can I get the Cliff's Notes on this one?
I'm sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking blog!
That's keeping it weird.
"Delirious Love Journey"-
Sweat the night sausage/ a miscreant protuberance
lachrymosely boil whole/ spray a morose egg lather
gratuitous meat shake secretes not/ viscous saturated rain
fusillade arm pounding/ nefarious faux skin apparatus
no cholesterol protein milk/ treatment medicine
lambaste bare hewn filial morass/ fresh skin cycle
unctuously abscond fastlyer away/ crassly festooned
this sordid impecunious void
Stick it in your pipe and toke on THAT, Belle!