Wow!! You are my new hero....hmm maybe not...I'm thinking you are my new asshole...hmm maybe not...oh forget it...you're just fucked up!!

Hang in there and be patient. I'm sure you'll get your ass kicked soon.

"I'm not that kind of guy"

Yes you are

^Mmmhmm. Yep. You did this, so you are officially that kind of guy.

While not exactly an ass kicking you could always step out in front of a bus? I've heard the people who live through that always "feel alive again" once they get out of intensive care.

Unless you have a vanity plate of "D Fens," chalk it up to a bad day, I,Anon. We all have them. Hold a door open for a UPS or FedEx delivery person and balance that Karma.

He wanted to beat the shit out of you for being an asshole, but he was at work, and he didn't want to get fired and/or go to jail. Great job asshole!

Are you and was the delivery man large or small? Did you badger a guy a foot shorter and 80 lbs lighter than you or about your size and like Drac says scare him about his job? I know damned sure he wasn't a big dude. Your ass would've been kicked from here to Cincinnati.

I'm only telling you what you already know in your heart to be true, but you should join fight club. Just don't tell anyone I told you about it, because there are like these rules and stuff, and the #1 rule is that we don't talk about it (fight club). So this is gonna be our little secret.

People who look for trouble usually find it. Keep it up, bub.

You were an asshole because you made someone say please? You big tough guy you.

In my Salt 'n' Pepa voice "You so crazy. I think I wanna have your baby."

Sorry you missed your opportunity and left the situation without satisfaction. Please send me your address and I'm happy to oblige. I have a selection of beatings for your choosing:

1. The 'ol Donnybrook: A classic, bare knuckle beatdown while I'm shitfaced on Irish Whiskey. Loss of teeth included.

2. The Jump In: Inspired by gang initiations in Los Angeles. My friends and I punch and kicked you to near death and then drop you anonymously in front of the ER of your choice.

3. Bounced!: I meet you at your favorite wateringhole and politely ask you to leave at which point you tell me to go "fuck myself!" I then haul you out to the street by your throat, stomp your guts out and hand you over to the local cops.

4. The Greek: This one will take you back to your pledge days. Group beating and humilation by challenging you to drink large volumes of alcohol and punching you in the gut until you pass out. Awaken in a pool of your own vomit and feces.

Of course I can always customize the beating to your specifications--If you can dream it up, I can beat you down!

If this story is to be believed in all its' supposed facts, then I would suggest the person is not really all that sorry.

And a complete DICK / CUNT.

When he looked at you he was probably dumfounded that you were going to call a cop and turn yourself in. In fact, why don't you go downtown right now and do just that? It might be just what you need to make yourself feel better.

Talk about having a bad day. Hey, the guy admitted that it's not a normal thing for him to do, and he feels bad about it. I hope he's learned a lesson.

Obviously, not caring involves taking a stand.

Like moving your car. Brazen motherfucker.