I wish women would move past the leggings trend. The ironic 80's chic thing is so, so played.

this is a fucking tragedy

Knowing this town the way I do, I suspect some 50yr old hula-hooping bum carrying $6.30 worth of recyclables riding his stolen bike (most likely my old custom Miyata), probably saw an ashtray full of ¾ smoked cigarettes and pulled over to collect his prize.

From there, they discovered said pair of leggings, and theorized that they could score some decent cash for them at Buffalo Exchange. On the way there (by MAX of course), they deboarded at Pioneer Square to panhandle for another $5 or so in order to buy a couple 4-Loco's and a 7-11 pepperoni pizza.

Unfortunately for them, while sleeping off the 4-Loco/7-11 pizza coma outside City Hall, a dude on shrooms wearing a kilt sauntered by in a very free love/communal state and decided those leggings belonged to the universe as much as they did to any other mortal.

Long story short, that dude used those leggings to mop up the diarrhea he spewed on the 43 while trying to get to Hawthorne Vintage to unload the "universe's gift" for enough $$$ to buy a 40oz of PBR and a pack of Newport Lights.

I know the loss of a loved one (possession) can hurt sometimes, but you've gotta let this one go. Just this one time.

You are pining over a lost piece of clothing? Here I was feeling all bad about that homeless family who lives in a '76 Ford LTD that just got their car/home towed away, but you lost some leggings, man. That's fucking BRUTAL.

It sounds like gravity did you a favor.

You don't get invited to parties, do you.

Time to grow up a little, and move on to jeggings.

They must have been really great. I have grieved for lost clothing.

I have your leggings. If you ever want to see them again leave a human hand in the spot where you dropped them at midnight tonight. Come alone. Anything suspicious and the leggings get the scissors.

I'm so sorry, but this classifies as White Girl Problems hahahah.
When an object is left somewhere, one does not simply retrieve it in a city of bodies flowing like rivers, picking the bones clean.
If you want my honest opinion, the universe probably was stripping you of your vanity. You don't need this object to be/feel beautiful, live or be fashionable.