You and your bestest friends need to organize a circle jerk...how fun that would be? No interruptions either!!

If this really happened, which it clearly didn't, you would have complete and total license to save the contents of your unloaded sack and deposit them square on the face of said jack shack employee.

Now back to reality. Dude, just hit Subway and read a book on your lunch break for Christ's sake.

He just wanted *his* lunch. Do Jimmy a liquid next time, Wilton.

Am I the only one who jerks off at work?

Now I'm depressed.

maybe the sex offender help desk has early check-in for you?

Usually when someone asks if you need any "help" in this situation, it results in getting a BJ/HJ/etc. Take him up on his offer next time...