Oh, the irony of paying $700k for a house in one of those old neighborhoods formerly inhabited by artists or minorities or some other authentic group (same diff).
So much soul, so much quirky nervous energy, so many unique forms of expression just radiating from each Home Depot paver and every Lowe's mailbox, from the upcycled whatever to that cool thing you saw while browsing Pinterest and riding out yet another hot flash.
But... oh fuck. You've never parked in the street before. You didn't even notice that your brand new home didn't have a garage! Even though you own three cars! It was never a problem back in Fruitvale!
Can this possibly work? It seems your neighbors live with this arrangement, judging by that VW camper van that you complained to the city about (it was casting a shadow on your herb garden!). Do people just turn their wheels-- in? Out? How is it done?
Surely if you can hire a housekeeper to pick up for you and a man dressed like a victorian-era dandy to deliver artisan bread to your doorstep then there's simply got to be some sort of smartphone app that will summon a Car Parking Expert to assist! And preferably before Oprah comes on!
Isn't that the Superman conundrum?
If I could be Superman I would fly, but you don't see me flying, do you?
So much soul, so much quirky nervous energy, so many unique forms of expression just radiating from each Home Depot paver and every Lowe's mailbox, from the upcycled whatever to that cool thing you saw while browsing Pinterest and riding out yet another hot flash.
But... oh fuck. You've never parked in the street before. You didn't even notice that your brand new home didn't have a garage! Even though you own three cars! It was never a problem back in Fruitvale!
Can this possibly work? It seems your neighbors live with this arrangement, judging by that VW camper van that you complained to the city about (it was casting a shadow on your herb garden!). Do people just turn their wheels-- in? Out? How is it done?
Surely if you can hire a housekeeper to pick up for you and a man dressed like a victorian-era dandy to deliver artisan bread to your doorstep then there's simply got to be some sort of smartphone app that will summon a Car Parking Expert to assist! And preferably before Oprah comes on!