I'm a man in my late 20s. This might sound weird but I got into this dating app Tinder and I chatted with this one girl. Her picture was a butterfly and my picture was a rhinoceros—I guess seeing our animal choices made us like each other's pic. She told me that she is on Tinder trying to get a date of her own age because she wants to get her thoughts away of her own dad. She admitted she had a crush on her dad but never told him. She thinks she has strong emotions for him because he's very fragile and unloved by her mum.
And she said that her mother confessed to her that she's in love with her own son—which means her mom is in love butterfly's brother. So her poor family lives in a complete Electra and Jocasta complex. I felt sorry for this disaster...
After chatting for a few weeks we decided to meet and that's where it all started going wrong. She didn't look at all what I imagined. Because when I walked into the Starbucks where we agreed to meet who did I see sitting there in a yellow pullover? It was my own sister.
We were both totally shocked. This meant my sister was in love with our father. It also meant that my mum was in love with me. A complex complex. Knowing that my blind love had been for my own sister, Dan, I tried to cancel it in my head straight away. But it's not that easy to find the "cancel" neuron among billions. So to speed the process I decided to do something brave to shake things up. I knew that my dad and mum are older, DBB folks (dogma-boxed-brain types) so I organized a family meeting where lied to my parents. I told them I am gay. We had a fight and my dad kicked me out of the house.
My sister hates my dad now for doing that, so she isn't in love with him anymore, and my mum re-fell in love with my dad because she saw in him a force of integrity that she hadn't seen for a long time. It's magical how just a few different actions can shift one's character and resurrect forgotten chemistry. Some mutual friends told me that my parents seem happier than ever and that my mother's sex addiction was cured by her re-born feelings for my father. I hope you think I did a good thing, as the vicious circle is now clockwise and our lives are ticking in a good direction!
Want To Hug You, Dan
First and most importantly: If we should ever meet, WTHYD, don't hug me. I'm not a promiscuous hugger. Or a slatternly huggee. I often consent to hugs, when offered, to avoid looking unfriendly, but my consent falls short of "enthusiastic" and is therefore not meaningful.
Alright, WTHYD, half way through your letter I was thinking, "The woman he thinks he's talking to? This butterfly nutjob? She doesn't exist—that's a dude with an incest fetish who gets off on convincing people his fucked up fantasies are actually someone's lived and deeply fucked up reality." Then I got to the part of your letter where the story turned into an incesty parody of the Pina Colada Song. ("So she waited with high hopes and I walked in Star-bucks/I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face/It was my own lovely sister and she said, 'Bro, it's you?'/Then we laughed for a moment and I said, 'Ew, ew. EW!'") And that's when I realized you were the dude with the fucked up fantasies, WTHYD, fantasies that may not be incesty at all. (Most people lying about their crazy fantasies online don't cast themselves as heroes who block the consummation of their fucked up fantasies.)
But incesty or not, WTHYD, I'm not buying your story. You most likely have parents, WTHYD, and you may or may not have a sister. But I don't think anything you described in your letter actually happened. Still... it's definitely the most compelling letter I received today. Totally SLLOTD-worthy. Congrats.
