GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! He's a lover boy at play. He don't play by the rules. Oh, oh, oh! Girl, don't play the fool now. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

ZOMBIE HOUSES! Unfortunately not actual zombies, but houses that have been mostly abandoned. But Mayor Charlie Hales has a plan to get these homes back into our desperate housing market.

A gender equity battle erupts at Lake Oswego High School with the girls of the softball team suing the district for getting baseball players better equipment.

Over 250 patients in Longview, Washington may have been exposed to HIV and Hepatitus B and C after being fitted for sleep apnea devices.

Soccer idol Abby Wambach has pled "not guilty" to charges of driving while intoxicated—though defendants are often advised to initially do so in order to get proper legal representation. GOOD TO KNOW!

Both Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz brought home big victories last night in the Wisconsin primaries, which signals the sixth straight win for Sanders (and an increasingly worried Hillary), as well as a celebratory Republican party who might find themselves stuck with a slightly less odious candidate than before. Only slightly.

Unfortunately for Sanders, not everyone is so enamored with him—a senator for the families of Sandy Hook is attacking Bernie's stance on "supporting gun manufacturer immunity."

Because he and his cronies are chickenshit cowards who are terrified of anything different (and perhaps their own deeply ingrained feelings), the governor of Mississippi has signed a bill allowing businesses to actively discriminate against the LGBT community.

Today in "Congratulations, and NOOOOOOO!!! I wanted to go see that!!"

Congrats to San Francisco , which is the first American city to grant parents six full weeks of paid parental leave.

Some United Nations peacekeepers are being accused of raping women and children in the Central African Republic.

The Panama Papers—AKA the leaked documents exposing how the rich evade taxation with offshore accounts—continue to expose world leaders and celebs alike, including the president of the Ukraine, and... Jackie Chan and American Idol's Simon Cowell?!?

Ever feel like you might actually die of a broken heart? Well, science says, "YOU JUST MIGHT."

Now let's look up in the sky at the WEATHER: Dust off your thongs, we're looking at a gorgeously sunny, 80 degree day!

And finally, if you ever have children, this is EXACTLY the daughter you want to have.