It was strange being a Portland fan in Staples Center for game five of the Clippers v. Trail Blazers first round series.

Games one and two had been celebrations for the Clipper fans—the arena was an evangelical megachurch worshiping the Father, the Point God and the Holy Shit-What-Did-Blake-Griffin-Just-Do? With game five being the first full match since it was announced Chris Paul would miss the rest of the season with a broken hand, and Blake Griffin would be out with an injured quad, it felt like that church was hosting a funeral. Staples was half-empty when the game tipped off at 7pm. Either Clipper fans were confused by the early start time or they didn't care—either way it was a fairly pathetic sight. It didn't feel right openly cheering the Blazers... it felt cruel. It felt like talking about this cool new girl you're dating as your friend openly laments his very recent divorce.

Then the game started, and the Clippers (the remaining Clippers) held their own. The game turned into a garbage fight, and the Clippers are nothing if not at home in garbage. Through the first half, Damian Lillard shot 0-of-5 and CJ McCollum went 3-of-9, and only Maurice Harkless prevailed with 17 first half points.

The Garbageclippers got ten first half points a piece from DeAndre Jordan (tall garbage monster) and JJ Redick (white garbage monster.) Midway through the game, the Blazers were trailing by five, and you were reminded why you hate the Clippers, injuries or not. It seemed like the Blazers remembered something, too. How to shoot. Dame and CJ got going in the third quarter and exploded in the fourth, propelling the Trail Blazers to a 108-98 win.

I hope the Blazers finish this series off in Portland on Friday, not only because I'm a fan of the team, but because I really don't want to go back to that fucking megachurch on a Sunday.

Playoffs continue with Game Six on Friday, April 29 at the Moda Center. Tickets here.