I read on TripAdvisor that Castle Black has great soup! The ale... not so much.
"I read on TripAdvisor that Castle Black has some delicious soup! The ale... not so much." HBO

Judging by last night’s pretty great Game of Thrones, we’ve now entered a pattern of so-so odd-numbered episodes alternated by really good even-numbered ones. This all might change later in the season, when the series’ patented “Episode Nine surprise” kicks in. But for now, let’s enjoy the good bits from Episode Four, which was titled, bafflingly, “Book of the Stranger,” although it contained no actual books or strangers that I noticed. (A dig at George R.R. Martin and his slow-typing hands, perhaps?) Spoilers ahead, obviously!

So, big brother, what have you been up to for, oh, I dont know, the last 72 hours or so?
"So, big brother, what have you been up to for, oh, I don't know, the last 72 hours or so?" HBO

We start up at Castle Black, and newly-not-dead Jon Snow apparently hasn’t made good on his threat to leave just yet. Hands up if you, like me, thought he walked straight out of the front gate at the end of Episode Three. I guess sauntering out into a frozen wasteland without any plans or provisions isn’t such a smart move. Good thing he was delayed, too, because here comes sister Sansa, resulting in a emotional reunion that felt legitimately earned.
THE GOOD: Sansa makes herself right at home at Castle Black, partaking of their delicious soup (not to mention eyebrow pencil and foaming rinse conditioner).
THE BAD: Brienne, meanwhile, finds herself in a slightly awkward position with Stannis Baratheon's old crew. Brienne, I love you, but if it comes down to you or Ser Davos, I’m gonna have to side with the Onion Knight.

• • •

The return of Littlefinger--AKA the Donald Trump of Westeros.
The return of Littlefinger—AKA the Donald Trump of Westeros. HBO

We finally catch up with Littlefinger down at the Vale, where Westeros’ sneakiest resident fully ingratiates himself on his idiot stepson, Robin Arryn, via the gift of a super-rare falcon. (Robin's gonna accidentally kill that poor bird inside of two episodes, I fear.) The beleaguered Lord Royce is threatened by a push out the Moon Door (bet he never gets tired of that) and is talked into taking his armies up to Winterfell to take on Jerky McJerkface, AKA Ramsay Bolton.
THE GOOD: I would happily watch a Dennis the Menace-style spinoff in which young mischievous Robin wreaks havoc upon the quiet suburban life of buttoned-up grumpus Lord Royce.
THE BAD: Does Robin remember that dear uncle Petyr was the one who dropped his mom—his very teat of life—out the Moon Door?

• • •

Seven more years! Seven more ye—hey, why arent you chanting with me, army of ex-slaves?
"Seven more years! Seven more year—hey, why aren't you chanting with me, army of ex-slaves?" HBO

In Meereen, Tyrion holds council with the Illuminati of Slaver's Bay and struggles to meet them on their own terms. This is where the show could’ve easily gotten bogged down in political and economic rhetoric, but Game of Thrones knows just how to jazz it up: with a few whores! Watch out, whores—these slavers are terrible tippers.
THE GOOD: Tyrion’s economic worldview is summed up in the pithy phrase, “You don’t need slaves to make money.” Pretty sure that same phrase appeared in the Gettysburg Address.
THE BAD: And yeah, just look at Tyrion's shining example of the thriving, slave-less, socialist eden of Westeros, a land where all people have access to fair income and are treated like equals! Oh, wait…

• • •

Porn hasnt been invented yet, old man, but Ive got the next-best thing: a naked-lady knife!
"Porn hasn't been invented yet, old man, but I've got the next-best thing: a naked-lady knife!" HBO

On the outskirts of Vaes Dothrak, Heckle and Jeckle plot an ingenious rescue. I think they should have spent more time up in the hills working on this plan, because when they get to town, it goes awry within seconds. Still, nothing that a good smashy boulder can’t fix. Meanwhile, Daenerys and her new bestie Lhazareen are able to just waltz out of the temple for a quick whiz.
THE GOOD: The security at the temple of the Dosh Khaleen is surprisingly lax. Don't they at least have a bathroom key?
THE BAD: Did we just watch Jorah Mormont, ostensibly one of the mightiest warriors in the known world, stoop to throwing sand in the bad guy’s eyes?

• • •

Dont worry, brother. Well get you back to wardrobe and makeup in an upcoming episode.
"Don't worry, brother. We'll get you back to hair and makeup in an upcoming episode." HBO

Across the Narrow Sea, Margaery and the High Sparrow have a pleasant little tete-a-tete, and we learn the High Sparrow’s secret backstory as King’s Landing’s fanciest cobbler. (Mmm, cobbler.) It seems that, after a particularly bad hangover, the High Sparrow forwent his wicked ways and abandoned footwear altogether. Who knew shoes were such vessels of evil? Meanwhile, we get the second of our brother/sister reunions when Margaery visits Loras, who’s understandably a wreck. And at a fart-less Small Council meeting, Cersei talks Lady Olenna into bringing the Tyrell army up to King’s Landing for a quick hack-and-slash on the Faith Militant. This is exciting—now we’ve got two potential battles a-brewin’ in Westeros.
THE GOOD: Who would have guessed that the High Sparrow was once the Phil Knight of Westeros?
THE BAD: And now he’s the Blake Mycoskie of Westeros.

• • •

So... hows dad?
"So... how's dad?" HBO

In Pyke, this brother/sister reunion is the bumpiest out of the three. Yara’s mad at Theon because he betrayed her in an old episode—but in his defense, nobody actually remembers this. More importantly, Kingsmoot’s a-comin’!
THE GOOD: Theon and Yara are maybe actually going to… do something to make their plot interesting? Isn’t crazy Uncle Greyjoy going to stand in their way?
THE BAD: Okay, let’s say Yara does become the new leader. Then what? How do the Greyjoys fit in with any of this?

• • •

You see, I peel the apple in a haphazard and impractical way and dont actually eat it at first. Its much more ominous that way!
"You see, I peel the apple in a haphazard and impractical way and don't actually eat it at first. It's much more ominous that way." HBO

At Winterfell, Ramsay’s slicing up some fruit. This is a bad sign—especially because no one actually cuts up an apple like this in real life. In case you haven’t been watching Game of Thrones for the past six years, here is your 8,795th reminder that Ramsay Bolton can be a real pill.
THE GOOD: I think Osha just dared Ramsay to become a cannibal.
THE BAD: This is an unfortunate way for a cool character to go out. Osha was missing for all of Season Five, and they bring her back only to stick an apple knife in her.

• • •

Look, I know its a single scroll from someone we know, but this is as close as were going to get to a Book of the Stranger in this episode.
"Look, I know it's a single scroll from someone we know, but this is as close as we're going to get to a 'Book of the Stranger' in this episode." HBO

Back at Castle Black, though, we do learn that Ramsay is capable of writing a pretty decent letter. His attention to visual detail, his grammatically correct use of the imperative, and his recall of catchy phrases indicates a sophisticated level of penmanship. So, yeah, this all seems promising: The wildling army, led by a reluctant Jon Snow and an eager Sansa Stark, is going to march on Winterfell. If only there was some way of letting them know that the dudes down in the Vale had the same idea.
THE GOOD: Everyone’s favorite moment was when Tormund Giantsbane gave Brienne a once over. If a liaison between these two doesn’t happen in a future episode, burn your cable box.
THE BAD: Apparently Tormund had a thing for bears, too. What is this show trying to say about Lady Brienne?

• • •

Nice temple youve got here... bit chilly, though, isnt it?
"Nice temple you've got here... bit chilly, though, isn't it?" HBO

At Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys is back in fine form. This is the kick-ass character that we’ve been waiting for, one that has been bogged down for too long in the political skulduggery of Slaver’s Bay. It’s time for her to scorch everything in her path—literally. And she does so with nary a dragon to be seen, too.
THE GOOD: Yes! All parts of this were good. Let’s get an army behind Dani and get her moving, for pete's sake. We've been waiting long enough.
THE BAD: I… don’t want to nitpick. I really don’t. But did Jorah and Daario sneak in ahead of time and pour burnable oil all over the floor of the temple? Or did the braziers contain enough to set the entire place in flames? I'm just wondering. Seems like a real fire hazard.

• • •

In the Great Conflagration of Vaes Dothrak, Daenery's poor, helpless clothing was the first casualty.
In the Great Conflagration of Vaes Dothrak, Daenery's poor, helpless clothing was the first casualty. HBO

FINAL SUMMATION: With all plots moving in a distinctively forward fashion, this was a satisfying episode that kept me interested in what was happening onscreen, even as it simultaneously pointed towards things in the future. At this point, the promise of what's to come is pretty enticing: Daenerys leading the Dothraki army (with dragons, I hope?); the wildlings and the soldiers of the Vale converging on Winterfell; and the Tyrell army taking on the Faith Militant. I hate to sound like I’m gunning for more violence, but, really, what else are we watching this show for? Burn it all down!

Oh, and someone should probably sew Daenerys some flame-retardant garments.


Read past recaps of Game of Thrones, Season Six!
• Episode One: "The Red Woman" Is a Tale of Three Corpses
• Episode Two: "Home" Is Where I Want to Be
• Episode Three: "Oathbreaker"—So Who Farted, Anyway?