My boyfriend and I have been together for about seven years and have an absolutely wonderful relationship. We have the same values, interests, and have a deep and understanding connection. Our sex is earth-shatteringly greatā€”we like doing the same things and with the same frequency. Basically the relationship is ideal for both of us and we make each other very happy. The only drawback is that I am 50 and he is 30. This did not worry us at the beginning because it started as a short fling, but it didnā€™t take long for us to fall in love. My biggest issue is thinking about the future and how our relationship might evolve. Iā€™m very fit and youthful with very long-lived, healthy family genes. People guess us at being about 10-12 yrs apart. But I worry about him being 55 one day and not wanting to fuck my 75-year-old ass....

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...Weā€™ve talked about this before, fairly openly. He does worry about having to spend his final years alone (probably true) and I worry about being engaging and attractive for him. Iā€™ve even told him he can find a hot fuckbuddy if I get to where my physical appeal or desire wanes. In other words, Iā€™m willing to try to do whatever it takes. He says age doesnā€™t matter and I want to believe him, but does he really know whatā€™s coming?

Iā€™ll admit that I donā€™t want to start over at my age, and I know heā€™d find someone new in time. So, thereā€™s certainly some fear there on my part. We are so in love that itā€™s hard to see being apart. Breaking up for no other reason that what the future ā€œmightā€ bring seems foolish. Should we just live for the present or is some long term realism too hard to ignore?

Love Across Time Endures

Take yes for an answer.

Stop worrying about how you're going feel a quarter of a century from now.

Things that are important to you at 50ā€”like having your ass fucked on the regularā€”may not be so important to you at 75.

Your boyfriend could predecease you and you could wind up spending your final years aloneā€”or, hey, you could die together in a fire or a car wreck or a plane crash or chariot fisting scene gone tragically wrong. We Catholics call that, "Looking on the bright side."

Your boyfriend could be done with sex at 50ā€”a chronic medical condition or anti-depressants or carbs could crater his libidoā€”and you could be the one banging hot fuckbuddies on the side.

Watch this movie:


Listen to James Baldwin:

Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters?

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