I'm a bi female in a relationship with a man. I'm seeking a female playmate. Where on the net can I find females like me? I’m in Alaska and it seems particularly hard to find someone up here. I've looked around but maybe I’m not looking in the right places. Craigslist don't help, and there was nothing on OKCupid either. Can you help?

A Lady Above Seeking Kinky Adventures

You could try Adult Friend Finder or BiCupid—and, hey, Christian Mingle is servicing queers now.

But you live in what the United States Census Bureau calls, “the largest and most sparsely populated U.S. state,” a state long known for “wide-open spaces, mountains, [and] forests,” ALASKA, and recently known for its idiotic ex-half-term governor and her feral children. The odds that you'll find an Alaska-based playmate on some other site seem long. Alaska has a population of just 737,625 people, fewer than half are women, and only a tiny percentage of that already tiny number of women are going to be queer, looking, open to being your “playmate,” attracted to you and vice-versa. Your best bet is a move to a more densely populated part of the country/world. If you have to stay put, ALASKA, expand your search to include cities like Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco, and fly south if an opportunity for adventure presents itself.