GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! As long as I can love you down, baby, just be my man. That's all that mattered to me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The Bundy Bros (from the Malheur Refuge hillbilly takeover) are still wrangling to get out of jail early, this time proposing a defense that's just about as ridiculous as you'd expect.

A man and a woman were injured by gunshot wounds early yesterday morning near 52nd and Prescott in a suspected gang-related shooting.

Our Portland Timbers soundly trounced the Seattle Sounders yesterday with a score of 3-1.

In case you missed it, more senseless tragedy: Three Baton Rouge cops (including a black officer) were killed yesterday in an ambush by a black separatist. The shooter was finally killed in a 30 minute standoff which injured three additional police.

If you're interested in such things, here's some background on the Baton Rouge cop shooter which is practically a portrait of mental illness.

In news that will certainly not help this situation, one of the top cops charged in the death of Baltimore's Freddie Gray has been acquitted.

More gun violence: 14 people are shot (including one as young as 13-years-old) outside a party in Bakersfield, California.

The Republican National Convention kicks off today with the only lineup of speakers they could find that would stand up for Trump—his family and friends. (SAD TROMBONE!)

In their first joint interview, Trump is forced to answer questions directed at V.P. running mate Mike Pence after Pence waffles.

Trump is also forced to change his logo—the one where the "T" in Trump is fucking the "P" in Pence—after it became a laughing stock on social media.


Also...


Today in POKEMON GO news (as required by the National Society of Journalists): A New Hampshire cop shop has been luring in wanted fugitives by telling Pokemon players there's a race Charizard in their booking area.

And in this story, all our other stories collide: "Florida Man Opens Fire on Teenagers Playing Pokemon Go."

Now let's look at the WEATHER outside: Cloudy with a slight chance of showers today, high of 75.

And finally, this cat is like, "What? Haven't you ever seen a cat chilling on the back of a scooter before? You should get out more often."