GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Hey Mr. D.J. (You can get this started.) Everybody's ready to party. (All night, all night.) LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Remember the right-wing blogger who pulled a gun and waved it around at a Don't Shoot PDX rally? Yeah, THAT guy. Anyway, he's made bail and is out of jail. Let's see if he blames this mess on anyone except himself!

Well, as it was rumored, Google Fiber is delaying their Portland roll out AGAIN—this time for at least several months. I'm kinda starting to think they may be yanking our chain.

A Hollywood stuntman is planning on recreating Evel Knievel's famous, yet failed, jump over the Snake River Canyon. I would prefer he recreated this jump.

Well, the bastard did it—Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for the President of the United States. And the entirety of the GOP were like, "Yaaaaaaay."

Republican LOSER Chris Christie was on hand at the RNC to "stoke the mob mentality" by reading an "indictment" against Hillary Clinton. (You may now roll your eyes.)


Meanwhile some conservative groups are pushing for the GOP to stop denying climate change. Here's an idea, maybe they'll agree to blame climate change on "Crooked Hillary"!

Another cop has been shot dead—this time in Kansas City after responding to a drive-by shooting.

Despite cops getting shot, many police brass aren't necessarily for gun control.

Looks like that's just about it for Roger Ailes, the CEO of Fox News who has been accused of sexual harassment. Insiders are working on a plan for a (dis)graceful exit.

Now let's gaze up in the sky for the WEATHER: A touch of clouds, but otherwise a sunny day with a high of 81.

And finally, today in perfect metaphors: Trump is the wild boar emerging from the ocean, and America is the beach. Enjoy.