gabby.jpg

Those of us who are slightly older remember a simpler timeā€”some would say a fairer timeā€”in gymnastics. A time when the top-scoring gymnasts were allowed to advance to the the finals in individual all-around. When there were more members on a squad than just five.

We remember a time when there were no arbitrary age minimums for international competitions. When the point system was based on a simple 10.0 system rather than than a complicated system that weighs the difficulty of each skill. (Okay, that rule is probably better, even if it is less exciting for the viewer.)

We remember a time when team members competed in all four events, and were not just ā€œspecialists.ā€ When they all had a fair shot to win a medal in one of the four events. When this very elusive, extremely impossible goal of making it to an Olympic gymnastics team was just a bit more possible.

But definitely the most bullshit of all the new gymnastics rules is the two-person per-country rule for the individual all-around. As the most prestigious prize in gymnastics, which only one person can win every four years, it is already elusive enough. But now, because of millennial tears or some sort of arbitrary ā€œgive every country a chanceā€ idea of fairness, the gymnastics overlords decreed that only two women per country can advance to the individual AA final, even if the person who finished third smashed her next nearest competitor to smithereens.

This is what happened to Gabby Douglas last night. She finished with 60.131 points, 0.476 behind Aly Raisman. She had more than a point on the fourth-place finisher, Brazil's Rebeca Andrade. She is the defending Olympic champion and canā€™t defend her championship because of this stupid rule. It is the same thing that forced the favorite of 2012, Jordyn Weiber, off the floor in London 2012 for finishing 0.233 points behind, ironically, Douglas.

It is a garbage, arbitrary rule. It destroys dreams. This is a competition. The best of the field no matter their country should advance. Iā€™m sorry to Italy or Poland or whatever country that didnā€™t have the better gymnast and therefore didnā€™t get to perform on an international stage. Go have a cookie.

When the Russians and Romanians and East Germans and the Chinese dominated gymnastics during the 1980s and '90s, they often swept the medals. American gymnasts might have cracked one or two spots. (Go Cathy Rigby!) But thatā€™s what dominance is. And right now, the U.S. team is so dominant, they finished almost 10 points ahead of the competitors. Part of this has to do with deterioration of the Romanian gymnastics program, and the fact that Russia isnā€™t looking so great either.

But truly, we are the best in the world. Unbeatable. Deal with it.

It is not likely that Gabby Douglas would have won the all-aroundā€”not with an otherworldly, nearly perfect Great Of All Time teammate like Simone Biles. But you never know. Biles could crack and fall off the beam, or she could step out of bounds on the floor, leaving an opening for her teammates to overtake her. Douglas might have turned in an amazing come-from-behind performance. But weā€™ll never know.

Fuck you, gymnastics overlords.