Mr. Trump is currently searching for a Union Jack flag thats just as big as this U.S. flag. Please send all tips to @realDonaldTrump
Mr. Trump is currently searching for a Union Jack flag that's just as big as this U.S. flag. Please send all tips to @realDonaldTrump Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com

Someone let Donald Trump have his phone again this morning. With it, he Tweeted a Tweet so mysterious, so baffling, so alive with meaning that everybody is suffering from a case of analysis paralysis. Here's that tweet:


Business Insider thinks that Trump is just trying to pump up his base. He's noted affinities between his supporters and Brexiters before. Unlike his own campaign, the UK is not on currently fire, and so maybe he's just trying to reassure supporters that their vote might only decrease the value of the dollar and not immediately bring hellfire down upon us all. Sounds plausible, but I've got some theories of my own.

1. He's going to exit the presidential race. Some "GOP insiders," according to Politico, have been urging Trump to drop out. And Trump was ringing that "rigged election" bell a little loudly last week. Maybe he's looked at "all the polls" and decided that quitting isn't the same as losing.

2. He's going to stay in the presidential race, but he's going to exit his own campaign and run as an independent. Trump's staff is a MESS. Disassociating himself from his own image and running against Hillary AND the Donald Trump campaign itself might be the only chance he still has of winning. He might be able to succeed. After all, his campaign is full of losers and crooks with ties to Ukraine.

3. He's mistakenly using the word "Brexit" as a portmanteau for "breakfast with eggs in it." The man simply ate a breakfast with eggs in it and he's telling us about it. Trump wants to present himself as "the kind of president you wanna sit down and have a little 'Brexit' with." This Tweet is step one of that campaign.

4. Trump is planning to create his own state and then secede from the Union. He's found a good deal on some land outside of Phoenix, AZ, where he will gather all his diehard supporters into one giant desert state community. They will build a wall around themselves. They'll solve all their problems by consulting "second amendment people" and jailing effigies of Hillary Clinton. I'm not not up for considering such a proposal.

5. He just likes it. He just likes the sound of "Mr. Brexit." It's got a ring to it. That's a new name for himself that HE CHOSE and that HE LIKES. Why does the lamestream media have to read into EVERY. LITTLE. THING.