GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! How you gonna act? How you gonna handle that? What you gonna do when she wants you back? LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Congratulations, Central Eastside business owners. You defeated Right 2 Dream Too. Hope you feel super proud of yourselves.

A US district judge—despite her grave misgivings—is going to allow Malheur hillbilly militant Ryan Bundy the opportunity to continue representing himself. YAY!!

President Enrique Peña Nieto has invited known racist Donald Trump for a private meeting in Mexico, hours before Trump starts his "Furiously Backpedal on His Immigration Stance" tour.

Needless to say a lot Mexico's citizenry aren't very thrilled with the Trump invitation.

Trump Jr. (AKA New Jersey governor Chris Christie) has vetoed the state's attempt to raise minimum wage to $15 per hour.

The FBI says it is prepared to have an "adult conversion" with tech manufacturers about privacy and why they should be able to hack into your phones.

Speaking of hacks, over 68 million passwords and email addresses have been leaked following a hack of cloud storage service Dropbox.

Sorry, weirdo religious freaks and conservatives: teen pregnancies have significantly DROPPED since the increased use of contraceptives—even though teen sexual frequency has remained the same. FUNNY, THAT.

A new study shows that Ohio's restriction of the abortion pill (for health reasons) is—surprise!—a load of baloney.

More trouble for singer Chris Brown who was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon after allegedly pulling a gun on a female guest, and then getting into a near 14 hour standoff with police.

Now let's examine the WEATHER in the sky: What's this? A chance of SHOWERS and a high of 70? Why, I never.

And finally, while we may have lost the brilliant Gene Wilder this week, we will never lose his greatest talent: the ability to absolutely FLIP HIS SHIT.