GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Damn, I wish I was your lover. I'd rock you 'til the daylight comes, made sure you are smiling and warm. I am everything, tonight, I'll be your mother. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Ugh. Let's just get right in to that debate mess. Donald Trump kicked off the disgusting proceedings by staging a pre-debate press conference featuring people who have accused Bill Clinton of sexual abuse (to minimize the damage of Trump ADMITTING to sexual assault in a video released on Friday). When he debate started, Trump stalked the stage behind Hillary, called her the "devil," and said if he got elected he'd make sure she went to jail (which is what despots in third world countries do). And when moderator Anderson Cooper pressed Trump extremely hard on his admitted sexual assault, he responded, "That was locker room talk, and by the way, ISIS is chopping people's heads off!" In short, another jaw-dropping loss for Trump.


Oh, and if you require it, here's a good fact check of last night's debate. Can you guess who made the most fibs by an overwhelming amount?

In what will surely be a career-destroying move, Veep wannabe Mike Pence is sticking with Donald Trump.

Yeah, but what about TV reporter Billy Bush who also engaged in "locker room talk" (AKA laughing about sexual assault) with Trump? He's being suspended from his current job at the Today show.

Two earthquakes—ranging from 4.1-4.8 magnitude—were reported off the Oregon coast yesterday near Coos Bay, but did not set off tsunami warnings.

Hurricane Matthew, now weakened following its path of destruction through the Caribbean, hit the South Carolina coast this weekend. 336 people are reported dead in total. Floods are currently endangering the lives of 1500 in North Carolina.

Samsung is halting production of the Galaxy Note 7 phone out of fears that even the replacements might burst into flames.

In even worse news, Nestlé is recalling their delicious Drumstick ice cream cones after some of their equipment tested positive for Listeria. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ugh. Let's get to the WEATHER: Yay, dry cool days ahead with a high of 68.

And finally, OH BOY, did Saturday Night Live have a field day with Trump and the Vice Presidential debate this week. Let's see how Trump (as played by Alec Baldwin) talks his way out of this one.