The Thesis 2 Year Anniversary
Since its inception nearly two years ago, the Thesis has dramatically transformed the landscape of Portland music. Every month the hip-hop concert series delivers lineups showcasing promising up-and-coming local artists alongside seasoned veterans—a feat that seamlessly weaves together the transforming city’s past and present. To celebrate its second birthday, this month the Thesis is stretching out over two days: Thursday it’ll go down as usual at Kelly’s Olympian with a bill that includes the already legendary St. Johns battle rapper Illmaculate and the smooth R&B of Blossom, who recently appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to back Portland emcee Aminé. Friday’s all-ages lineup at the Compound Gallery boasts some of the organizers’ favorite young squads, like SQD and STRAY. The Thesis is known for its early sell-outs, so avoid unfashionable lateness. CIARA DOLAN
9 pm, Kelly's Olympian, $10

Bernie Sanders
And lo! As winter squeezed its icy fist around the heart of America, its downtrodden citizens realized an evil wizard, capricious and cruel, would soon rule over them! Like a shadow, pain and suffering rolled across the cursed land. But O! A brave hero arose, holding aloft his weighty tome, upon which were carved two bold words: Our Revolution. And so the people fought, and the evil wizard was driven to oblivion, and freedom and justice were restored to all! (Look, it could happen. Well, either that or Bernie Sanders will just read from his new book.) ERIK HENRIKSEN
12 pm, Powell's City of Books

Kamasi Washington
Riding high off last year’s triple-length opus The Epic, Kamasi Washington has been nothing short of a shot in jazz’s arm. The tenor saxophonist and bandleader has done high-profile work with Kendrick Lamar, Flying Lotus, and others, but more importantly, he’s the focal point of a rising Los Angeles jazz scene that reframes the legacy of overlooked jazz pioneers like Alice Coltrane and Pharoah Sanders. NED LANNAMANN
8:30 pm, Roseland, $25-40

Amy Schumer
One the most influential comedians in the last 10 years brings her worldwide tour to Portland.
7 pm, Moda center

Alien Boy, Little Star, Sweeping Exits, Naux
Local pop punk quartet Alien Boy play an all-ages release show for their new 7-inch, Stay Alive. Local DIY stalwarts Little Star and Sweeping Exits provide support, with all proceeds from the door going to support Planned Parenthood.
8 pm, Black Water Bar, $5, all ages

The Dwarves, Long Knife, Spellcaster
Celebrate the 40th birthday of Jackass star "Danger" Ehren McGhehey with a headlining set from the long-running garage punk and hardcore outfit.
9 pm, Dante's, $15

Patterson Hood, Willy Vlautin
The Drive-By Truckers co-founder and singer-songwriter returns to the Doug Fir Lounge for a cozy wintertime show that's become somewhat of an annual tradition in recent years. Local singer-songwriter, author, and Richmond Fontaine frontman Willy Vlautin provides support.
9 pm, Doug Fir, $18-20

Joey Diaz
One of Joe Rogan's most frequent podcast guests, Joey "Coco" Diaz blends storytelling with down-to-earth stand-up, as seen in his own special, The Testicle Testaments.
8 pm, Helium Comedy Club, $18-25

White Album Christmas
The White Album Christmas variety show is surprisingly really fun. This annual show very much attracts a certain demographic: Beatles lovin', patchouli smellin', nouveau circus appreciators. But really, as long as you can stand the Beatles, it's a damned good time. There are standout performances by the Wanderlust Circus and their compadres, a near spot-on re-creation of the Beatles' White Album (which is a bit of mixed blessing... "Revolution 9," ugh) by the Nowhere Band, and wonderful aerial acrobatics by the AWOL Collective. COURTNEY FERGUSON
8 pm, Alberta Rose Theatre, $30-50

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!