Ear Candy: Ice Queens, The Wild Body
The holidays are upon us, so consider Ear Candy—the Mercury’s free monthly music showcase in partnership with Mississippi Studios—our first gift to you. On deck this evening? Rough-and-tumble guitar rockers Ice Queens, whose riffage will ease the early winter bleakness as we slump-shuffle toward 2017. DIRK VANDERHART
9 pm, Mississippi Studios, free

Fitz & the Tantrums, Saint Motel
Yet another case study in the old lesson that you shouldn’t let a band’s success stand in the way of taking them seriously. This massively talented group offers a rich marriage of soul, rock, dancehall, and pop sounds, and puts on a dazzling, energetic show. It’s a pleasure to see a band work this hard for your good time. SEAN NELSON
8 pm, Crystal Ballroom, $40, all ages

Helmet, Local H
Helmet is not the band it was in the early '90s, when the New York City bruisers released seminal records like Strap It On and Meantime. In fact, guitarist/vocalist Page Hamilton is all that remains, and he's trotted out a crew of freshly shorn musicians in recent years that don't resemble John Stanier, Peter Mengede, or Henry Bogdan. That's okay; those songs still deserve to be heard. MARK LORE
9:30 pm, Dante's, $20

B-Movie Bingo: Never Too Young to Die
Your monthly opportunity to literally check off a bingo card full of B-movie clichés—but good luck remembering to even play the game while hypnotized by the intense animal majesty of John Stamos in Never Too Young to Die. Stamos is some sort of butt-rock James Bond, with Vanity as his his sexy sidekick, doing their heavy metal best to stop the outlandish plans of Gene Simmons as some sort of butt-rock Frank N. Furter. Who needs plot, or quality, or even coherence when you have a sweaty, leather-clad Uncle Jesse filling all five senses, right? BOBBY ROBERTS
7:30 pm, Hollywood Theatre, $9

Portland Brewing's Ugly Sweater Party
It's time to break the fuzzy fugliness out of your closet and use it as a full-body bib to catch any spare drops of Portland Brewing deliciousness that might miss your mouth as you enjoy live music, raffles, and a drunken Santa! And if you donate a clean coat or jacket, you'll get a free six-pack in return.
5 pm, Portland Brewing Co.

Willy Vlautin, Patterson Hood
A reading from two of Portland's most well known musician/authors (or authors/musicians, however you prefer to look at it), sharing passages from the new anthology The Highway Kind: Tales of Fast Cars, Desperate Drivers, and Dark Roads.
7 pm, Broadway Books

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!