...married every day. But I'm wondering if there isn't more to your story.

Oh, look... another email just popped into the inbox...

My best friend of 35 years is considering marrying his transgender undocumented girlfriend. Though he feels passion/attraction for her, she is a regular drug abuser with an incredibly volatile personality who has put him through an emotional wringer over the last two years, claiming impossible acts of infidelity, forcing multiple breakups, and frequently making him miserable. He does not consider her his emotional equal, and in many ways sees their relationship as a self-improvement arc for her. I want my friend to have love in his life, and I want to support him, but marriage to her is something I would advise him against in ANY political climate. We have excellent communication, and he knows how I feel about her, but rather than discussing this very important decision with me has chosen to inform me by forwarding an email he just sent to you.

How do I avert this disaster?

Buddy Feelin' 'Fraid

I like to say Savage Love is a conversation but rarely do I get to hear more than one side of a story. So thanks for letting BFF know you wrote me, TRUMP, and thank you, BFF, for writing in. And TRUMP? You must have known BFF would share the details he did. So it seems you have some reservations about marrying this woman, TRUMP, you just outsourced the expressing of those reservations to your old friend.

So... yeah. BFF has doubts about your happy and committed relationship, TRUMP, and these doubts are bringing up concerns for me, too. Maybe you really do believe your relationship is terrific and lovely and hot, TRUMP, and maybe you've worked through the mishigas and your girlfriend has conquered her irrational jealousy, etc. But if everyone else in your life telling you it might be a big mistake to marry your girlfriend... it might be a big mistake to marry your girlfriend.

Let's review the details BFF shared:

• she's a regular drug abuser
• she's incredibly volatile
• she puts you through the emotional wringer
• she accuses you of "impossible acts" of infidelity (that sounds kinda hot TBH)
• you break up frequently
• you're in this to change her (people don't change... except when they do... which they rarely do)

Something else to consider: If this is how your girlfriend treats you when she needs you to marry her—when she's likely to be on her very best behavior—how will she treat you once legal residency is secured and the pressure is off?

BFF might be a dirty liar, of course. I've heard people describe pot smokers as "regular drug abusers." Or BFF could mean meth. I don't know. (And I could've written back and didn't... so maybe I don't want to know.) But I do know that right after you submitted your letter to me, TRUMP, you forwarded it to a friend who isn't a fan of your girlfriend. That just the kind of passive-aggressive move that makes me question a person's judgment.

Sorry. I'm rambling, huh?

Here's what I think you should do, TRUMP: Get all your friends together and pop the question to the group. Should you marry the girlfriend or should you not marry the girlfriend? If the majority leans towards marry the girlfriend—if BFF is a dirty liar and a dirty outlier—go ahead and marry the girlfriend. But if all of your friends urge you not to marry the girlfriend, then don't marry the girlfriend. Find other ways to help her—ways that don't make you responsible for her credit card debt or entitle her to half your shit when if you split.