THE NICE GUYS Pictured: two exemplary role models.
THE NICE GUYS Pictured: two exemplary role models.

Are you imprisoned within your squalid home thanks to Portland's dangerously unmaintained city streets? Me too! So please—join me in catching up on some of 2016's finest motion pictures! Join me over the internet, I mean. Do not come over to my apartment. I do not want you here.

Some of the Mercury's favorite movies from 2016—like Arrival, La La Land, and Moonlight—are still only in theaters. But most of them are available from the comfort of your couch. There's no better way to burn away this stupid snow day.

Swiss Army Man
What we said: "If I'd walked out, I would have missed one of the most touching love stories I've seen onscreen in recent memory."
Stream it: iTunes, Amazon Video

Hell or High Water
What we said: "This is a movie so perfectly paced, so generous in the portrayal of its characters, so understated and intelligent and incisive that it’s painful and lovely to watch."
Stream it: iTunes, Amazon Video

The Nice Guys
What we said: "Unlike just about every other modern American comedy, The Nice Guys is an honest-to-god actual big-screen comedy—with Black taking advantage of cuts, camera moves, sight gags, and framing to deliver both action thrills and unpredictable laughs."
How to stream: iTunes, Amazon Video

Hunt for the Wilderpeople
What we said: "Wilderpeople is a hugely loveable movie that’s suitable for date night or the whole family, and I know that sounds like a hacky movie poster blurb. But when a movie’s this good, it’s tough to avoid clichés, so I’ll leave you with another: Don’t miss it."
How to stream: Hulu, iTunes, Amazon Video

Hail, Caesar!
What we said: "Even if it occasionally feels like the Coens are dinking around in a sandbox, there are more than enough ridiculous moments to make you giggle."
How to stream: iTunes, Amazon Video, HBO

Into the Inferno
What we said: "Another filmmaker would be content to shoot some crazy exploding lava and call it a day. Herzog, though, finds more: Into the Inferno features scientists hunting for shards of ancient skeletons, a cargo cult singing and dancing beneath the ominous glow of an active volcano, and surreal proof of how North Korea’s dictators twisted the mythological power of Mount Paektu."
How to stream: Netflix

Everybody Wants Some!!
What we said: "Over the course of two hours, Everybody Wants Some!!, Richard Linklater's 'spiritual sequel' to 1993's Dazed and Confused, goes from detestable to damn near loveable."
How to stream: iTunes, Amazon Video