Crystal Ballroom's 103rd Birthday Free-for-All
A blowout birthday party that spills into Al's Den and Ringler's Pub, kicked off by a family-friendly performance from You Who, as well as sets from Biddy on the Bench, Tim Connell, Bloco Alegria, and capped off by VJ Kittyrox's '80s Video Dance Attack. With brewery tours, tastings, drink and food specials, and football on the big screens.
2 pm, Crystal Ballroom, free

Never Going Back
A peaceful funeral-style procession, intended to draw attention to the Queer Resistance and the looming fight to protect Queer rights from bigots occupying positions of governmental power.
noon, Pioneer Courthouse Square

High on Fire
Unpopular opinion time: I’m kind of over Sleep. The band, not the rapper... or the time of rest in between daytimes. Don’t get me wrong, Sleep was—and is—a great band that put out some unimpeachable stoner/doom classics. And yes, they released a new single a few years ago, and yes, it was good. But live, the band has been bludgeoning its legion of fans with essentially the same material for years, and I’ve seen it. I don’t need to see it again. Sleep guitarist (and six-string god) Matt Pike’s other band High on Fire, however? Whole different ballgame. On their most recent album Luminiferous, Pike, drummer Des Kensel, and bassist Jeff Matz are devastating riff monsters, delivering a uniquely powerful brand of sludge-thrash that runs circles around just about every other likeminded band on the planet. But Luminiferous also finds the trio flexing its psychedelic muscle and adding more melody into the mix, particularly in Pike’s vocals. The results are glorious, and they prove that High on Fire is not just a great band—they’re a great band pushing themselves to be better. BEN SALMON
8 pm, Hawthorne Theatre, $20-25

Rose City Classic Dog Show
Dogs representing more than 175 breeds will compete in obedience, rally, and agility competitions as well as standing there and looking pretty at the Rose City Classic Dog Show. It’s a five-day event, and Sunday attendees can visit the Meet the Breeds booth. SHELBY R. KING
8 am, Portland Expo Center, $10-30, all ages

Drag Queen Brunch
Liven up your Sunday brunch with an early afternoon cabaret show featuring celebrity tributes, comedy, and glamour served up by some of Portland's premier drag queens. Coffee and brunch buffet is included with admission, but you'll need to bring extra funds for Bloody Marys or mimosas. Hosted by Sasha Scarlett.
noon, Doug Fir, $18-20

Whoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show
The Secret Society presents the latest installment of Whoopee! A Sex-Positive Variety Show, a new event produced and hosted by sex educator and comedic storyteller Amory Jane. Whoopee! will feature an array of Portland's best sex-positive entertainers showcasing their burlesque, stand-up, music, poetry, bellydancing, short erotic films, storytelling, mini sex ed lessons, and more.
7:30 pm, The Secret Society, $12

Bubble Trouble
Feminist stand-up troupe That's What She Said presents Bubble Trouble, a queer-centric comedy showcase to benefit Bradley Angle, a local nonprofit that serves domestic violence survivors of all genders.
7:30 pm, Siren Theater, $8

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
People like to act as if the high-concept genre film reached its peak in the last 20 years, but Michael Bay and Joel Silver ain’t got shit on the late 1950s. That decade was all about answering the really interesting questions, like “What if a dude was also a fly?” or “What if a blob of shit ate a whole town?” and, of course, “What if a woman was 50 feet tall and sick to death of stupid men fucking her life up?” That last one got answered with these 66 minutes of sci-fi schlock from director Nathan Hertz. BOBBY ROBERTS
2:25 pm, 9:30 pm, Academy Theater, $4

Two Days After and Everything Ahead
Local singer-songwriter and storyteller Ed Haynes hosts a post-election open mic night featuring an array of post-election-themed performances and speakers. Proceeds go to benefit the Central City Concern.
7 pm, Mississippi Studios, $5-10

Don't forget to check out our Things To Do calendar for even more things to do!