Hey! Did you watch last night's episode of The Walking Dead? Yes? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THOSE NEW ODDBALLS (who I'm calling the "Garbage Pail Kids")? Let's chat about them, and frankly, anything else you want to chitty-chat about, after the jump. Spoilers ahoy!

Look. Take your Girl Scout cookies and get the FAWK outta here!
"Look. Take your Girl Scout cookies and get the FAWK outta here!" Courtesy AMC

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode, "New Best Friends."

1) As we recall from last week, Rick was grinning like a pig in poop after running into a new group known as the "Scavengers"… but who I will call the "Garbage Pail Kids," because I have no respect for the hard work the writers put into this show. Why was he so happy? Because he sees a big ol' fat opportunity to team up with the GPK and take on Negan. However, that may be a bit more difficult than he thinks...

2) The leader of the GPK is Jadis who has a super cute pageboy haircut, wears all black, and lives in a garbage dump. Interestingly, every single person in the GPK wears all black... which means that this dump is where Hot Topic threw away all their stuff? Anyway, they were the ones who kidnapped Rev. McChickenshit and forced him to clean out all of Alexandria's food and weapons. Apparently this was payback for the guns Ranger Rick and Aaron stole from the zombie lake houseboat, which wasn't theirs either, but the GPK loves stealing from stealers. They said they were just waiting around for someone to take a leaky rowboat out to the guns, because they couldn't figure out a way to do it themselves?? THEY LIVE IN A GARBAGE DUMP. And they couldn't find or manufacture one freaking boat? GAAHHH WHY DO I THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS SHOW???

3) Anyway Rick's plan to join up with the GPK stumbles when Jadis refuses to play along. Also I'm not sure why she talks like Hulk... but maybe this is an eventual post-apocalyptic thing? STOP THINKING SO MUCH, STEVE. Rev. McChickenshit takes a GPK member hostage and says Rick is awesome and they should join up with him. Jadis says, "Okay, but puny Rick must pass test! Puny Rick must SMASH gladiator zombie!" She tosses him into the garbage hole where he eventually triumphs by dumping more garbage on him. Note: It was HILARIOUS that Rick tried to kill the zombie with a PC keyboard. Take it from someone who has tried that trick on employees... it don't work.

4) Meanwhile back at the Kingdom, Ezekiel and the gang meet the Saviors for their regular pickup, AND AS USUAL Richard starts acting like a jackass and pulls out his gun. WAITASECOND... why did the Saviors take away all of Alexandria's weapons, but let this hothead keep his piece THIS DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE STOP THINKING STEVE. Anyway, Morgan and Benjamin do a little stick fighting with the Saviors, but everyone eventually calms down... though the Saviors take Richard's gun AND Morgan's precious stick away. OH NO THEY DID NOT. (There will be hell to pay for that, I bet.)

5) Daryl tries to convince Morgan to convince Ezekiel to join the Ranger Rick team. Morgan says no. Daryl doesn't like that and gives him not one, but TWO severe eye-fuckings. (Nobody eye-fucks like Daryl.)

6) Ragin' Richard comes up with a cockamamie plan to kill some Saviors and somehow blame it on Carol who will be killed and therefore spur Ezekiel to join the resistance. Daryl correctly identifies this as a stupid plan, beats the shit out of Richard, and then eye-fucks him for good measure.

7) Daryl shows up at Carol's house, and when she asks if the rest of the gang is okay, he lies to spare her feelings. This will probably turn out to be a terrible idea. They do not have sex, and he leaves.

8) Meanwhile back at the garbage dump, Rick strikes a deal with the Garbage Pail Kids saying that he will get them guns if they promise to use them against the Saviors. Jadis says, "Hulk not trust General 'Thunderbolt' Ross or Ranger Rick... but that am good plan." Will Tara tell Rick about the secret cache of guns she saw at that all-women commune on the beach, even though she promised she wouldn't? Or will she let the Garbage Pail Kids kill all of them? MORAL QUANDARY!

9) Meanwhile back at the Kingdom, Daryl is eye-fucking a tiger when Morgan walks in. He tries to convince Morgan that things are only going to get worse with the Saviors, and while Morgan agrees, he still thinks there's another way to defeat their enemies without violence. Daryl eye-fucks the SHIT out of Morgan and returns to the Hilltop ready to fight, RAHHHHHHHH!!!

10) Annnnd fin. What did you think of that episode? I thought it was a bit disjointed overall, but those Daryl eye-fucking scenes are to die for. I'm looking forward to more action-oriented episodes, and the final FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT against Negan. "And Hulk am looking forward to it, tooβ€”OR HULK SMASH!" See ya next week.

I am simultaneously petrified and aroused by your eye-fucking, FYI.
"I am simultaneously petrified and aroused by your eye-fucking, FYI." Courtesy AMC