...throating activity, could work, but it might be worth a try. The carrier state is, apparently, considered "an enigma." It might be reasonable to assume that the carrier boyfriends cannot be cured of being carriers and the girlfriends who keep getting sick are unusually susceptible to this bacteria.

A follow-up from a caller on the Savage Lovecast:

A year ago, I called the Lovecast hotline and told you about a younger straight (ish) friend who'd offered to flex his muscles for me after finding out about my paraphilia surrounding muscle and strength. You called me back and encouraged me to go for it, explaining that my friend would be getting something out of it too, which was really the permission slip I needed to allow myself to jerk off in front of him without fear of judgement or selfishness. Here is the update:

I played my friend the podcast. He told me he was proud of me, and offered to start working out at my house, which he has been doing once or twice a week ever since :) apart from a couple of extended breaks.

I get to watch, encourage, coach, and pleasure myself anytime I feel inspired. Just letting myself enjoy his physical beauty in this way is extremely gratifying. Within certain boundaries, I am allowed to touch him. A few times, he has been aroused by my excitement and has joined me in masturbation. He enjoys flexing and posing for me, and it has been a real treat to watch someone I had already been attracted to get stronger and add some muscle over the year that has passed. It has been one of the most gratifying experiences of my fifty years. He has since gotten a girlfriend, who approves of our activities. I am looking forward to taking the second piece of advice you had for me, which was to find a fellow muscle fan with whom I could enjoy a more affectionate and partner-type relationship. It will come.

Thanks for all of your great work.

In response to Savage Love on straight pigs:

I'll start by saying I'm a fan. Enjoy your "column" and usually agree with your thoughts every week, but feel I have to respond this time to the answer you gave to the poor guy feeling guilty over all straight male pigs.

You are absolutely correct—he shouldn't. Way too much of that guilt trip going around.
However, you need to stop operating on old data. As a straight heterosexual female, I need to see some proof other than your assumption that most of us want our men to be a male pig for us. Or, as I think is the case—you need to define what it is you mean by it.

But what's really got me is your assumption about Michelangelo. I am also an Historian and an Art Historian. From all his letters, poetry, and other primary sources of the period, there is no evidence that he was homosexual. In fact, if you take a moment to check out evidence about his personal hygiene you'll agree with the current, most likely, train of thought, that he was asexual. He had a couple of very close, loving friends, both male and female, but there's no evidence of a physical relationship with anyone. He was a good cook, though!

Google "Was Michelangelo gay?" and you get all sorts of arguments, pro and con. Many—but not all—of the con arguments are clearly bigoted and/or conservatively Catholic. While Michelangelo never sucked my dick, I happen to think there's enough evidence to conclude the dude was gay.

Now, some haters:

After reading your column by chance in Clevelands Scene Magazine, you must have hit a new low in readership. An ear fetish and suicide nut, do you really live in my world?

Happened to pick up a copy and read your article, it's a good thing that it's free, who would pay for such trash. Wish you had a bigger vocabulary so you would not have to use the F word all the time. What a terrible example you are and what a great contribution to society.

I just read your latest column in which a 50-year-old gay man asks your opinion about coming out. You answer that "not coming out is a moral failing." Well, I'm writing to tell you that you are full of SHIT. Not coming out is a life-protecting decision for a lot of men, because being gay is still extremely dangerous and career-destroying. I knew a gay man who was recently beaten to death. It's been a year and a half since it happened, and his killer, a straight man who stomped him to death in a bar, has still not gone to court. He'll probably be acquitted or get a light sentence. Ho hum, "just another fucking queer." Every gay man knows the extreme risks of being honest to fellow workers who are straight, especially in male-dominated fields. It's a lot more practical and safe to totally hide your preferences, instead of being humiliated, laughed at, denigrated behind your back, and possibly risk violent assault and possible death. So telling people it's a "moral failing," and making them feel even worse, just shows how lucky you are to be employed in a position where you are safe. Attitudes may have changed over the years, but basically for a lot of men nowadays, nothing has changed at all. So don't hand me your smug morally superior bullshit, Savage, you are wrong.

The above letter writer missed something in my response: "There's tremendous social and political value to being out, whoever the president is. There's also social and political risk, whoever the president is. If you're in a position to come out—and you must be, otherwise you wouldn't be asking—not coming out is a moral failing."

If you're not in a position to come out—because it's too dangerous—then you shouldn't come out. But "attitudes" changed over the years because people came out when it was infinitely riskier to be out.

And, of course, there were plenty of responses to Jill Stein Is a Right-Wing Tool:

I used to be a fan of you before The Onion was purchased by democratic strategists and subsequently turned into an outlet for propaganda.

I just read your article on Jill Stein, and it disgusted me. How full of hate you've become, that it has blinded your ability to see things clearly. While the democratic party as a whole whines like children, pointing fingers, showing zero accountability, learning absolutely nothing from the massive failure they deserved, you are leading the charge of cry babies and name callers. If you want to make a difference, be a leader and take your time to be honest about the loss, so that others that are utterly blind and adrift at sea may have a chance to also make a difference. Your "side" lost because of identity politics, failing policies that betrayed law enforcement (Chicago—examine it), outright corruption (Clinton Foundation — why did the sponsors pull out contributions after the loss if it wasn't for political favors?), straightup ARROGANCE (neo-liberals are the most intolerant group in the country), and oh yeah it's a culture of whiny little crybabies, and you are one. Stop blaming Jill Stein, grow up, and start looking in the mirror. The Dems are gonna lose mid-terms and keep losing until they do. Mark my words.

Finally, to round off this week's round-up, a letter from a cis straight dad to a cis gay dad about a cis son dating a trans person:

I don't actually need advice. I grew up in small town Kansas, moved to Seattle and started to read your column way (way, way) back when. Various adventures later I find myself as Middle Age Dad Man with two wonderful kids that are so much more together than I've ever been.

My son, almost grown, has kind been gradual in his exploration of dating (so far as I know). Last summer he announced he had a girlfriend. Nice girl, they had fun. It went the way of teenage romances. Later he made friends with a transgender young man at a school event and started hanging out. After awhile one night he just sort of drops on my wife and I, "So I’m dating (name-redacted) now.” I have to admit that despite years of your column this stretched some of my boundaries for a moment. I think my exact response was “in what capacity?” which, of course made no sense and made him start laughing at me—which made me laugh at me. The evening ended with us hugging our son and saying if this guy is his friend that’s enough for us and that we loved him.

My point being, you helped me not screw this up. Who even knows what dumb-ass 20 year old me would have done in such a situation. I mean don’t get all big headed or anything—others helped too. But reading your column back in the good old days (I think we can call them that now—oh boy) jump started me from being an ignorant hick to… well a dad who at least didn’t screw up that conversation too much.