GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Should've cherished me, listening to friends. Now it's the end and again, no story can end without it. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

The Portland police officer who killed 17-year-old Quanice Hayes last month will not face charges. Cue justified outcry, and keep checking in with the Mercury news team who is all over this story.

In other bad/sad news, the AMF Pro 300 bowling alley on Powell is getting going away and being replaced with something ridiculous, I'm sure.

Lake Oswego racist/misogynist/computer store owner Kevin the Geek announced via a sign on his window that he is leaving Oregon for "a red state" because he's tired of liberals using their freedom of speech to counter his freedom of speech. Funny how democracy works, isn't it?

Boy Bye! Protest Against Hate and Watch them Congregate #SilenceIsViolence

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President Trump is so very desperate for a victory he has threatened GOP lawmakers that he will "come after them" if they don't vote in favor of the flawed health care act. (That sound you hear are the eyeballs of Congress rolling.)

Empty threats aside, Politico says that the president and GOP leaders don't have enough votes for the Obamacare repeal they desperately want.

Meanwhile, Trump's budget is not faring much better, with GOP governors pooh-poohing it because some of the massive cuts seem "harmful and arbitrary."

In day two of Judge Neil Gorsuch's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, Gorsuch dodged tricky questions from Democrats and took hefty swings at Republican softball questions about not picking political sides. Gorsuch returns for day three of the hearings which he'll probably spend avoiding how he feels about anything.

And here's yet another scandal for Trump: The president may be called to testify about his friendship with billionaire Jeffrey Epstein, who is accused of sexually abusing more than 40 minors—BUT GET THIS!—it was Trump's current Labor Department nominee Alexander Acosta who cut a non-prosecution deal with Epstein ten years ago rather than throwing the book at him. AGAIN, WHAT WOULD THE GOP SAY IF HILLARY CLINTON WAS INVOLVED.

Speaking of scandal, Trump's former campaign manager Paul Manafort is now being accused by Ukraine lawmakers of hiding "payments he had received from the party of Ukraine’s former president, who is living in Russia and wanted on corruption charges­ in his home country." Drip, drip, drip.

And oh yeah... this Manafort guy doesn't look guilty. Like, AT ALL.


The US State Department is in serious danger of having its global influence reduced, according to this article, which blames budget cuts and head honcho Rex Tillerson who "didn't even want the job."

Here's the "sad trombone" headline of the day: "Ex-Colo. GOP leader said only Democrats committed voter fraud. Now he’s charged with voter fraud." Saaaaad trommmmboooooone.

This just in: The British Parliament is on lockdown as police investigate a "firearms incident" outside the building which reportedly left 12 people injured.

Entertainer, novelist, host of The Gong Show (and maybe CIA assassin?) Chuck Barris has died of natural causes at the age of 87.

Now let's discuss our favorite topic, the WEATHER: Oh, you know... fuckin' showers, dude. High of 57.

And finally, HEY DAD! If it's not too much trouble, can you turn around? BECAUSE YOUR SON IS BEING ATTACKED BY A LLAMA.