GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! They tell me I changed because I got money, but if you were there before, then you're still down with me. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

If you were wondering what's going to replace the beloved AMF Pro 300 bowling alley on Powell, it's going to be a tiny Target. In a related story, GROSS.

A lot of Portland's Biketown racks were vandalized on Monday night, presumably by those who don't appreciate Nike's sponsorship.

The closing of the Morrison Bridge is causing huge traffic problems on the inner Southeast, and today and the near future might not be any better. PLAN ACCORDINGLY. (And if you're curious as to why we've arrived at such a sorry place, READ THIS.)

Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley pulled an all-nighter in the kickoff to the Democrats' filibuster of Trump Supreme Court nominee Neal Gorsuch. And this analysis of the situation reveals that Republicans will probably get what they want anyway.

Check out this article about how Trump's "America first" campaign is putting a chill on our country's moral standing in the world—especially in relation to the horrible chemical weapons attack in Syria.

While Trump may be turning a blind eye to Syria's chemical attack on its own people, the United Nations Security Council is leaping into action with or without us.

BREAKING NEWS: Evil incarnate alt-right blogger Steve Bannon has been kicked off of stepped down from the National Security Council. Expect a lot more on this throughout the day.


People are still calling for Bill O'Reilly's head after it was revealed he's been accused of multiple acts of sexual harassment, and now advertisers are dropping out of Fox News as well.

Meanwhile Republicans are desperately trying to divert attention from Trump's Russia connection by pointing fingers at Obama's former national security adviser Susan Rice and claiming she improperly tried to "unmask" Trump campaign people for political purposes... and you know what? THIS IS BULLSHIT DIVERSIONARY TACTICS AND WE SHOULD IGNORE THIS STORY.

However, former Trump lackey Carter Page has admitted to communicating with a Russian spy in 2013... so drip, drip, drip.

In a move that should surprise no one, Kendall Jenner and Pepsi have appropriated national protests and the Black Lives Matter movement to sell soda.

When it comes to Ivanka Trump being complicit in many of her father's immoral dealings, well... she can't be! Because she doesn't even know what it means!

Now what about this WEATHER: Mostly cloudy today with a chance of showers and a high of 59.

And finally, this chimp must really hate old people. (But in his defense, he's really great at throwing his own poop, and old people can be annoying.)