GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I need a soldier that ain't scared to stand up for me. Known to carry big things, if you know what I mean. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Thanks to that rainy, rainy winter we had, parasites have found their way into our drinking water—and you're gonna have to pay for that.

Yesterday's power outage downtown seems to have been cleared up, according to PGE.

Oregon Health Authority has discovered they may have given Medicaid health benefits to 32,000 people who no longer qualified for them.

A man who threw beehives (!) off the roof of downtown Nines hotel has been sentenced to 150 days in jail—where I'm sure he will keep himself "buzzy." Heh. No.

The person behind Manchester's Ariana Grande concert bombing had ties to Syria and Islamic State, which suggests he may have had help.

President Trump met with the Pope today, and I never thought I'd say this, but... POOR POPE.


Former CIA director John Brennan testified yesterday that he had been concerned with the evidence he saw that Russia and Trump campaign people were having suspicious contact. Drip, drip, drip.

In other "drip, drip, drip" news: Trump has hired a private outside lawyer to help him not hang himself as the Russia collusion investigation continues. Good luck with that, private outside lawyer!

As shocking as it may sound, Trump's new federal budget—which makes deep cuts that will directly hurt impoverished Americans—isn't sitting well with Congress... and that goes for Republicans, too.

Hiding deep inside this budget proposal is Trump's idea to sell off publicly owned transmission assets, such as Oregon's Bonneville power station? OH HELL NO.

Fox News has retracted their story about Seth Rich who they claim was murdered after he leaked DNC emails to Wikileaks instead of the Russians. Conspiracy theorist/Fox anchor Sean Hannity isn't happy about it.

Thousands of protesters marched in Chicago last night protesting McDonalds' low wages and accusations of sexual harassment.

Speaking of workers being ripped off, Uber has admitted they underpaid NYC drivers by millions of dollars.

A sequel to the '80s hit Top Gun is "definitely in the works," according to Tom Cruise, who apparently doesn't have enough money yet.

In case you missed it, actor Roger Moore—the longest running person to play James Bond—has died. Here are some of his greatest clips.

Now let's look at the WEATHER: Cloudy and cooler today, but OH LORD look at that glorious Memorial Day weekend ahead!

And finally, for the latest in Russian dog news, let's go to special Russian dog correspondent, Ygor the Dog.